I don't have.....! ....but what do I gain?

People have asked what it is like to transition from Haiti to the United States. I wrote the following while I was in Haiti but wasn’t sure how to publish it or how it was coming together. Now as I read it, with the TV going and drinking an ice cold glass of tap water, while working on my computer .....

I don’t have electricity but in the evenings I sit and talk for hours with friends and family.

I don’t have electricity so I am able to always get more than 8 hours of sleep.

I don’t have electricity so I have more hours to do things in my day, without distractions.

I don’t’ have electricity so I get to have a candlelight dinner almost every night.

I don’t’ have electricity so I appreciate it more when I find it.

I don’t have a washing machine but the woman that washes my clothes is grateful to have the work.

I don’t have a toilet so I never have to plunge it when it gets stopped up.

I don’t have a bathtub but I get to take a sponge bath everyday in the sunlight looking at the trees.

I don’t have a toaster and it makes me appreciate that heated bread so much more.

I don’t’ have a microwave but I get to sit and visit with Ti Madame while the coals heat our food.

I don’t have a stove but I enjoy finding creative ways of cooking and discovering what we can make.

I don’t’ have a freezer – no ‘but’ this time, I do miss ice, leftovers, and ice cream!


                  But it tastes so much sweeter then when I do have it!

The truth is we I don’t have electricity in Haiti or running water. But for me it makes me appreciate and love life so much more and also value my brothers and sisters more.
We should all try for a little simplicity in our lives.

Creating

Are you an artist? I struggle with the response to this question. It has taken me a long time to admit one of the gifts God has given me is that of creativity or art. But early in the morning, looking at the real artistry of creation and awe at what God has made; I wonder if I just am able to see and appreciate what is there. Maybe, just a little bit of it can rub off on me and I can create too. This morning I watched as one of the trees I can see off my front porch was sun kissed in the morning. It glowed yellow as if it was just greeting the sun and said with peace and a smile, “Bonjou”. That tree had a moment with the sun and now they are both carrying on with their day. I am happy I awoke early enough to see it.

The other morning I couldn’t sleep and awoke very early before the sun. A friend and I went on the roof to greet the sun. He said it was the best time to pray to God. Speak into the skies with your arms raised and praise, he showed me. “Oh, Mesi Bondye [Oh, Thank you God].” We sat and watched with anticipation as the colors changed at the top of the trees and you knew that sun would make an appearance, soon. We watched the beauty for awhile and then decided to take a walk. We walked for just a bit and then I felt it. I turned and just like the tree the other day, the sun said, “Bonjou, Bonjou, Angelica.” I stood there for a moment and closed my eyes and let the light know me. I took a deep breath of thanks and went on with my day.

Take a moment to appreciate creation and the beauty around you. Look at what God has done and what you do and create in your world everyday.

Dream Big in Haiti and all over the World

I have been trying to put into words something I have been thinking a lot about the last couple of weeks. I came back from Haiti about 3 weeks ago and during that time I have been watching my nephew. It has been a true joy. One I could not have imagined, it is sort of an odd feeling – he looks so much like my brother and I swear I am having flashbacks to when my brother was just his age and I was 3 years old. Now I maybe have a glimpse as to why grandparents are so crazy about their grandchildren. You see your own children in that little face and you just get to love him or her. So I am a very happy Aunt and blessed to be able to have so much time with him.

But as I watch this little guy I look around and see all the things he has to play with in the house. And all the other stuff he has, I think like your typical American baby – I can vouch for other children I have watched. He has the little sitting chair that lights up and moves, the one the baby lays under with all the fun things to look at, the little walking seat, and then all the hand held toys and stuffed animals. Not to mention I watch Baby Einstein with him as he watches with fascination. But one of the things he was most interested in, most intrigued by this week was my black and white Dreamer shirt with LMi.

As my nephew sat starring at my T-shirt that reads across the bottom – “Dream Big” it made me sad to think of the differences in Haiti and United States; not only in material possessions but in encouragement and being able to dream.

In the US we live by some mottos –

“You can be anything you want.”

“If you work hard enough you can have it all.”

“Follow your dreams”

...and many more.

But in Haiti dreaming is hard. You don’t see many great success stories, and I think it would be hard to for a Haitian to answer the question – “Who inspires you?” or “Who is your hero?” We have an amazing legacy of people who have gone before us, which they do in Haiti too but are fewer and farther between. A young Haitian often only sees what is right in front of him and a dream of making something of his/her future is much more difficult when the family has to decide between education and food for the family; and certainly not toys that might be able to spark their creativity and dream bigger. This is one of the things I work at bridging with the Haitian people, sharing a little inspiration.  And showing and teaching the young adults how they can be an inspiration to children in their community.  One of our staff with LMi was asked what is success during a workshop he replied "…”It’s when younger students begin to look to me as a role model and then I know that I’ve set an example for success…”.

I think a lot about Jerzie – my god-daughter in Haiti whom also lives on the same property, as I watch my nephew. I have watched her grow up and enjoy watching her play at the age of 17 months. I watch her playing around the house and her creative mind picking up everything. Now I imagine when I go back, to Haiti, I will think about my nephew and all his toys. Jerzie had the little toy that kids learn to walk in.; but now, her and the neighbor boy share a little truck they can pull around. Many of the children in Haiti have no toys. Most toys come along later, around 5-8 years old when the children create the toy themselves. The most common toys I have seen are rims to bicycle wheels – the kids push them around with a stick and try and keep them rolling without falling down. Or the example below of 2 lids to a butter dish attached to a stick that my neighbor made.

I don’t know what the answers are for the future generations of Haiti. But I do know like all young people they need to be inspired. They need to see examples of success from people that have gone before them. And I will continue to ask them
“What is your dream?”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
and encouraging them by expressing to them
“You can do it!” 
“Follow your dreams.”
That is something that we can all do for people in our lives. Tell it to your family and friends but also share it with a stranger or someone you know maybe has never heard those words before. “You can be anything you want in this world!” and “Dream Big!”

Water is a Luxury

One of the common sights in Haiti you see is the women carrying the 5 gallon water buckets on their heads.  It always amazes me they are even able to do this.  Often times they have a 5 gallon bucket on their heads and a gallon jug in each arm.  I realize they start this at a very young age but still every time I see one of these ladies I am in awe and impressed. 


Photo by Russ Stone in La Biche, Haiti on a Solar Oven Partners Trip

I think about how we in the US take water for granted.  It is just there, always there.  You turn on the faucet and you even have a choice between hot and cold.  And many people have ice instantly available to them in our refrigerator door with the ice cold water.  I think consciousness of water has always been on my mind for some reason.  I remember being amazed by a Chemistry teacher in high school who said she showered in 3 minutes including washing and conditioning her hair.  I was impressed by how little water she was using.  To wash the dishers, I always fill the sink with just enough water; it bothers me when I see people just letting the water run down the sink as they wash each dish individually.  I used to have a friend that let the water run the whole time she was brushing her teeth too.  This was all before I lived in Haiti.  Now I take great joy in being able to dampin my toothbrush and then rinse it thoroughly when I am done, while in the U.S.  Not like in Haiti when I have to think about using too much, because I may not have some later in the day to drink, unless I buy some more. 

In Haiti I have a large barrel outside my home that collects rain water.  But during the 'winter' - dry season,  I continually debate how I will have water.  Most Haitians go and get their own water carrying that 5 gallon water on their head or kids go and get a gallon or two or 4 at a time in their hands.  However typically foreigners don't do that, they pay someone to go get their water for them.  This saves them from falling flat on their faces and it gives a local person a little job.  I live on the same property with a family so we share the water.  I one time suggested paying for water but the family wouldn't have it.  They thought they were responsible for my water supply.  But this has been a struggle, the mother's leg always hurts when she goes and gets the water and the brothers are never home.  Which leaves Eugenie but she has Jerzie at home so is usually busy with her and cooking; not enough time to get water for the whole family let alone this gal here. 

So one day I decided to go down and get water with Papi, just with a gallon jug in each hand.  I didn't know how to feel about it with many different thoughts running through my head - such as "This is no big deal, I can do this." to "This is a lot of work just for water; I could just have someone else fill the barrel for me."  And a whole range of emotions.  But the really sad thing is - I live close to the well!  Some people might walk for a mile or more to get water.  As all these thoughts were running through my head, climbing down the steep mountain down to the well; we arrive to find two of the children from New Life School there with their mother.  We all chatted as we filled our water jugs.  The mother had a 5 gallon bucket and 4 gallon jugs.  After she was done filling 2 of the gallons she put one in her 7 year old son's hand and one on her 5 year old daughters head, so they could start up the mountain ahead of her.  After she let us fill our 4 gallons of water.  After we left we found the children half way up the steep hill.  The gallon of water had fallen from Lydia's head and she was struggling to carry it in her hands.  I picked up her jug, along with my 2 and told her to head on up the mountain.  Once at the top of the mountain I told them to wait for their mother. 
And I joyfully carried my water home. 

I don't understand how the water comes out of the faucet in the United States but it seems we could make that happen in Haiti.  Well maybe we couldn't but someone could, or at least figure out a way to make it easier and give access for everyone to have drinkable water.  But in the mean time think about all the blessings we have like a faucet with running water and hot and cold and you can drink it! Most importantly appreciate it! but also consider what you could do so that everyone in the world could have that luxury.

New Life School with Living Media International

Some international friends shared some books with us. Most kids only have their lesson books.  They don't have any books just for fun.  Once when I read a Dr Suess book with an adult friend, he said with joy and amazement, "Where did you get this?"  We love books & are sharing them with our kids.

 

 The current New Life School - they have been meeting in an old house.  But next year the children will have a new school.

 Starting the outside wall on the new school.

 

The new desks provided by a United Methodist Community in Ortonville, MN. 
For more information about that story check out this blog http://www.angelicaheartforhaiti.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-never-would-have-imagined-from-one.html

 Everyday the kids receive lunch at the school.  A couple of the moms cook a large pot of rice and beans for all the kids and teachers.  The kids all bring their plate and spoon from home.  They also bring water and sticks to help with the preparations of the meal.

 

 
LMi in partnership with "Then Feed Just One"
A Big Thank You! to "Than Feed Just One", who provides the meals everyday. 

 

 This young man has on the new school uniforms.

The 1st Grade Class.  

 The 6th Grade Class.

 The 4th Grade Class.

The 3rd Grade Class.  

 Lydia sharing the book with one of the older kids.

 Some of the kids whom houses we visited.

I sat in on math class to learn my Creole numbers.   

 The old school classrooms were divided with tarps.  But in the new school there will be 6 classrooms, a lunch room storage area, cistern, and a large yard to play in.

The 2nd Grade Class - the largest class and it is all boys!

The future site of New Life School.  Fall 2012

Challenging perspective - maybe I don't understand a gift.

I don’t understand. I don’t know why but I don’t understand. Do you ever just decide to buy something for your friends, neighbors, or family for no reason? Maybe once in awhile you do. I guess on occasion sometimes I have. So why, why am I brought to tears now by a friend of mine in Haiti. He came to get water at our Center for Living Media. He had a black sack in his hands that was on the seat beside him. He goes back and forth to the city often; and often times he picks up some rice and beans at DiMez. So my first thought at 1:00pm, having not eaten lunch yet was –“Yes! he has some extra rice and beans to share with me!” As I am getting hungry and didn’t think to bring anything with me and it isn’t like there is a McDonalds in the neighborhood.

Of course I was trying not to be excited as he was playing with the sack and saying ‘I have something for you. This is for you.” I take the sack and it is shoes. Shoes? What? – odd. My second thought was I don’t really need shoes, but that was nice – maybe I can give them to one of my family members. But he said he saw them and said ‘Angelica needs those for the mud.’ It is true as we are starting on rainy season here. The mud sticks to my shoes very badly. He made sure to tell me too, they were not for my family members but for me. This was funny because I was irritated with Haiti this morning; in Haiti everyone shares shoes, in your household if you see a pair of shoes there you can just where them. My shoes were borrowed by Eugenie yesterday during the rain storm and were now on the feet of a cousin of theirs who I met yesterday. Now granted I have sort of tried to get used to this but seeing your shoes on a strangers feet is sort of odd.

Picture taken from Terry Dewald's team in Feb 2011 at an orphanage in Jacmel.

So back to the shoes, they are nice shoes and I continue to be perplexed. Why? And yet my heart says and why not Angelica, he is a friend of yours and decided it would be nice to buy you a pair of shoes. I strive for equality in Haiti; it is something that I constantly struggle fighting against. However, with a long history of ‘white’ coming in and giving, giving; it is expected. Also, because of this it has set up this idea that ‘Foreign’ things are better than Haitian things. Which saddens me and is something I work to change; however the sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach and the uneasiness of my heart tells me maybe I don’t see things 100% equal too.

We are so ingrained to view the world in such a way and it is interesting and often times perplexing when our view point is challenged. I feel I am pretty open minded and try to look at the world justly. Then why do I feel uncomfortable and wonderful in these new shoes I am wearing? I have phrases running through my head such as ‘What did I do to deserve these?’ ‘What is he wanting in return?’ and ‘I should really give these to someone else, who needs them more’ and ‘I am such a jerk for thinking those thoughts about other people taking my shoes and wearing them.’ I also think of the sometimes silly things that Jesus used to do. Oh, now we don’t look at them as silly, they are wonderful philosophies of looking at the world. But back in the day they were viewed as odd. Why would a Samaritan help a Jew? Why would you talk to a prostitute? And why would a Haitian give an American a pair of shoes? …..Because it is just the way you love! You love all people – not for a reason. Not for future gain, not because someone loved you first; (Although someone did love you first.)  you just LOVE.
Crazy, Silly, Perplexing and Odd isn’t it?

Karma

I have been struggling with what to write about lately in Haiti. Because life has become more ‘normal’ so I sometimes lose sight of the things that are different or I think that I have already wrote about it. Today I went down to Jacmel to run some errands and got on facebook for a moment. I saw a cute little cartoon that was about Karma. Sometimes we don’t really know how our actions will affect us for our future.

As we were coming back up the mountain my driver, Papi, picked up an old man on the side of the road that was walking to his destination. He picked him up just to be nice and it got me started thinking about that idea of karma. I see people walking all the time and often wonder; why, don’t we just pick some of them up. But you can’t because people pay a ‘taxi’ driver to go up the mountain; if you don’t have the money you walk. As we were driving I reminded Papi that we had to buy a chicken to replace the chicken my cat ate. My cat has ate a couple chickens but this last time he got caught by the neighbors, so I knew I had to replace it.

The old man we picked up was going to the market. I couldn’t believe the distance he was going to walk. As we parked the motorcycle, Papi talked to the old man about buying the chicken in the market. I don’t shop in the market because often when my white skin is shown the price goes up. The man was more than happy to go buy the chicken. We waited at the end of the market where all the motorcycles sit. Papi bought some peanuts for us while we waited and I enjoyed people watching. As we were sitting there – it dawned on me we were going to have to get this chicken home. So I ask Papi –he was a bit confused; but realized when the chicken came and I had not the slightest idea what to do with it. He handed it to me and hesitantly held it and jumped on the moto.

Upon arriving at the house, I of coarse had to have a photo taken as this was the first chicken I had ever carried home that was alive. I was also very proud that I had handled this situation with my cat eating the neighbors chicken. The family yelled for the neighbors when we arrived, to come over. The lady of the house came over with the baby and I showed her the chicken. But she was shaking her head and saying no, no, she could not accept it. I was confused and a bit hurt. I had felt bad about the chicken and this would make it right. Eugenie and Papi tried to explain to me that she couldn’t accept because we are neighbors and we watch her son all the time. I understood all that, but still fair is fair.

So now I have a chicken. And a cat tied up in the house. The cat ate another 3 chickens yesterday. The neighbor said I just needed to eat him and get another one, simple as that. I am torn as to what to do this is not an outdoor cat with no name; this is Marco and he sleeps in my bed. But fair might have to be fair and I am going to have to get rid of my cat.

This really started out about Karma. We gave the old man a ride, he bought the chicken, I bought the chicken because my cat ate the chicken. The neighbor couldn’t accept because we watch her son.

So I had an egg this morning….and my cat was moved (I pray) to another zone.  Nothing to do with Karma … oh wait. I guess it is Marco’s karma.