Check the Chaos.

We have been traveling and I have not been good about sharing what is going on in our lives or even just sharing about Haiti.  I also have to admit I have not felt that inspired and also tired.  I have been recouping from some spiritual hurt in the past.  So concentrating on healing has left me lost at times and simply trying to find my balance. 

Last week Raphael and I were at the Luther Center sharing a Haitian meal with our old campus ministry friends.  And I had the opportunity to share the message.  This semester they have been asking the question, “Where do you find (experience) God?”  My most basic answer is ‘in Nature’.  I shared more detailed stories about where I feel most at home and with God is in the mountains in Haiti and the mountains of the Black Hills.  Last night a week after I shared, I decided I wanted to share a meal again at the Luther Center (even with our busy schedule, it seemed important).  After the meal and carving pumpkins I was tired and it was time to take Elijah ‘home’ to bed in Vermillion.  I wasn’t sure I was going to come back for worship.  But one of my friends, a graduated student said you need to experience some home – come back and worship with us.

Luckily I listened to her advice.  I returned and it was so meaningful.  Every service is started by saying something to the effect of leave the chaos of your life outside, check it at the door; this space is sacred and is meant to be spent at peace with God and yourself.  And with the music and the silent prayer, I find God again and again, each time I am there.  Last night it brought tears to my eyes and gave me a renewed energy and centering for our journey ahead. Luther Center last year was such a central part to my healing heart with organized religion and God. I am blessed to be a part of that community.  Everyone should have a place that they can find that sort of peace.  If you don’t have one keep searching.

                

This morning I read a blog by a friend, that has also been doing a bit of traveling about sacred places.  I encourage you to read it.  

http://thegreenmangoblog.com/2015/10/06/a-green-mango-pilgrimage-part-2-bahai-faith-temple/ 

Go wherever you need to, to find God.  God is waiting for you to reconnect.  God is always there sometimes our lives just get to crazy, to much chaos to hear that still small voice.  Check your chaos at the door and find some peace.  I know easier said than done.  Like I said the music helps.  Hope this helps you.  This is one of the songs we played last night. 

Peace.

"Love your neighbors as yourself." Mark 12:31

Today Astrel's Grandpa died and I knew it before the sun rose.  In Haiti you are very close to you neighbors, both physically and emotionally.  You are really more like an extended family and most the time they are indeed third, forth and fifth cousins.  Always just referred to as cousins in Haiti.  I have been trying for awhile to relate this kind of living to anything we have in the United States.  It came to me the other day.  It is like living in a large apartment building with no doors.  Like no outside door to your apartment.  Not that we don't have doors in Haiti but you don't have windows, that shut out any kind of noise.  So everything going on with your close neighbors you can hear.

This is how I knew about the death in the 'neighborhood' before I had even gotten out of bed.  In Haiti when someone dies they cry out.  Maybe wailing is what we would call it.  Its the third time now I have experienced it.  You are literally woken up to moaning and screams throughout the mountainside.  It is heart wrenching.  And then you wonder who is it?  In what direction is it coming from?  The family was immediately up and out checking on who it was.  Although they thought they knew already because Astrel's Grandpa was sick.  As I laid there in bed I just lifted up a prayer for the family for peace and condolences.  When you are with your neighbors like this, there is a bonding that happens that is unlike any other experience.

I thought I might compare it to a church family.  Which I am blessed to have an amazing one in Vermillion as well as the 'exteneded' family of the United Methodist Church in the Dakotas Conference.  But even that is something you only experience once a week or once a year.  Everyday I greet the neighborhood from my porch as they go to and from school and work.  Sometimes even before I brush my teeth or while I am outside in my front yard brushing my teeth.

Before I moved back to the states this was one of the things that drove me crazy.  I had to deal with the young men in the neighborhood dropping by for coffee before I even headed out to use the bathroom in the morning.  But now I don't know something has changed. (I have a backdoor now so I can at least use the bathroom without everyone knowing.)  But also, I love seeing the people and sharing their lives.  And just as I am writing this one of my neighbors a second cousin once removed stopped by.  They didn't make supper at his house tonight so we shared what we had leftover with him and his son.

Somehow it seems there is always enough to go around in the neighborhood.  Thank you Jesus for helping me understand the loafs and fishes a little better.  And there it is the leftover rice was just brought back into the house.  Mesi Jesi for teaching me to love my neighbors.

Clearing my head.

I went for a walk this morning.  My husband has been wound up a lot about life.  He now knows how difficult it is to live in 2 countries.  The baby was crying and I needed to a break.  I went for a walk to clear my head.  There was this beautiful view over the mountain just a short distance away.  I needed to just sit and clear my head.  I found a lovely rock on the side of the mountain.  I passed several people on the way there - folks heading to church.  We exchanged 'Bonjou' and both kept on our way.  I found a spot on the side of the mountain where is is rocky to sit.  I sat there looking down the valley and at the mountains wondering, 'what am I doing here?'  I needed to clear my head;  it has been a stressful time.  So alone on the rock I watched the world and talked to God.  The leaves below suddenly stirred up in a whirlwind.  The yellow leaves from the tree on the side of the hill danced in the sunlight.  And I kept talking to God and smiled a bit at the Creator's response.  

I heard something behind me and turned.  It was one of those moments you wish you had a camera.  Hand in hand walking there were 2 small children.  One a little girl about 8 years old carrying one of those large flat baskets on her head with bean shells in it and the other a little boy about 2 years old that was just wanting to hang out with his big sister.  He was along to help.  They greeted me and kept walking across the edge of the field.  They dumped their basket in the garden and on the way back the little boy had the basket (that was almost bigger that him) on his head upside down.  He clearly wanted to help out his big sister with the job at hand.  Again so wish I would have had the camera.

I continued to sit and clear my head, but shortly after the children had disappeared over the hill an old lady came and greeted me.  "Ou bezwen sole?" she asked me 'You need sun?'  ...Yes sure that sounded like a good reason to explain what I was doing here on the side of a mountain by myself.  I also tried to explain I just needed time by myself to think.  Which most people may take as a cue to keep walking, not the case in Haiti.  She kept talking to me about life and hwo she was and then she said, "Mwen genyen sole kay mwen." 'I have sun at my house!'  She really wanted me to come to her home.  We chatted a bit longer and then she said it again.  I was convinced I probably needed to go.  

Her house was just beside me on the hill.  And when I got to here house I discovered that the 2 young kids were her grandchildren as well as 1 more child there.  Their mother had died and she was caring for them.  We visited for a little bit and ten she brought me a letter in English that was addressed to her grand-daughter.  It was a sponsorship for her schooling from an international organization.  It was a lovely little letter and I was happy to translate it for her.  We visited about the sponsorship and I am not sure her granddaughter is actually sponsored or at least they have received no money for her.

They wanted to make some coffee for me.  But I really needed to get back to my house.  Ass I had now been gone for some time to clear my head.  As I walked back home, I thought my head is clear but I am not sure why.  The oldest boy from the house came running up behind barefooted and asking me for sandals.  I explained I didn't have any, this is pretty common thing for small children to ask for from foreigners.  

As I continued to walk home I just thought again about God.  What am I doing here?

I know this is a question many missionaries ask themselves from time to time. The experience is amazing, but there are many things that are rough from time to time about daily living.  So you find yourself asking the question.  I hope many people ask themselves that from time to time just to stay on track with what God wants from us in our lives.  It has now a few days later - I feel on track; despite still having a water shortage.  One of the artisans came by with some beautiful crafts and the rooster is crowing and all is well with the world.

Reality of life in Haiti - not a vegetarian read

There was a sweet little bunny in the corner of the kitchen the other day.  My first thought was just that ‘awe how cute! A fuzzy little rabbit just like in Elijah’s book I read him.  Then I realized oh….oh no.  I knew I needed to go get the camera to get a picture of this little guys last moments on earth.  

But I was busy myself cooking in the kitchen.  I had forgot about the little furry critter, until I could hear a buzz of people outside the house.  Then I knew it was too late to take a picture.  The neighborhood of friends had gotten wind that the rabbit would soon be ready. 

not the bunny one of the pigs

TiBo my brother-in-law is sort of known for ‘cooking up the meat’.  And when he does, he shares with whomever comes over.

In the kitchen -heads up!

One day I was busy looking around for something in the kitchen, not taking in my surroundings.  I stood up from where I had been searching and nearly smacked my head on a chunk of pig!  Since I have been in Haiti there have been 2 pigs and a rooster and the rabbit, he has cooked.  I am also pretty sure probably a cat – Raphael brought a bowl of meat into the house one night but that time he didn’t mention sharing it with me.  Of course it could have just been spicy too.  Which by the way is the case with most of the meat, I usually don’t eat any because it is too spicy! 

I did try the rabbit and it wasn’t too bad but all I could see was his cute little fuzzy face eating his last carrot in the corner of the kitchen and I couldn’t eat another bite.  You may be horrified or maybe you have lived on a farm and this is just the cycle of life.  I know for myself it is just the way it works here and life as we know it in Haiti.  But I gotta tell you when I catch wind of them cooking up the next piece of meat.  I try and stay clear of the kitchen or the crowd that is gathered around the excitement.  I wait inside; then I too can enjoy my share of the tasting when it is hot and cooked and on a plate. 

 I had to post this today.  Because I saw TiBo heading out into the field today with 2 big knifes in his hands.  I think we will be having some pork later today.