Clearing my head.

I went for a walk this morning.  My husband has been wound up a lot about life.  He now knows how difficult it is to live in 2 countries.  The baby was crying and I needed to a break.  I went for a walk to clear my head.  There was this beautiful view over the mountain just a short distance away.  I needed to just sit and clear my head.  I found a lovely rock on the side of the mountain.  I passed several people on the way there - folks heading to church.  We exchanged 'Bonjou' and both kept on our way.  I found a spot on the side of the mountain where is is rocky to sit.  I sat there looking down the valley and at the mountains wondering, 'what am I doing here?'  I needed to clear my head;  it has been a stressful time.  So alone on the rock I watched the world and talked to God.  The leaves below suddenly stirred up in a whirlwind.  The yellow leaves from the tree on the side of the hill danced in the sunlight.  And I kept talking to God and smiled a bit at the Creator's response.  

I heard something behind me and turned.  It was one of those moments you wish you had a camera.  Hand in hand walking there were 2 small children.  One a little girl about 8 years old carrying one of those large flat baskets on her head with bean shells in it and the other a little boy about 2 years old that was just wanting to hang out with his big sister.  He was along to help.  They greeted me and kept walking across the edge of the field.  They dumped their basket in the garden and on the way back the little boy had the basket (that was almost bigger that him) on his head upside down.  He clearly wanted to help out his big sister with the job at hand.  Again so wish I would have had the camera.

I continued to sit and clear my head, but shortly after the children had disappeared over the hill an old lady came and greeted me.  "Ou bezwen sole?" she asked me 'You need sun?'  ...Yes sure that sounded like a good reason to explain what I was doing here on the side of a mountain by myself.  I also tried to explain I just needed time by myself to think.  Which most people may take as a cue to keep walking, not the case in Haiti.  She kept talking to me about life and hwo she was and then she said, "Mwen genyen sole kay mwen." 'I have sun at my house!'  She really wanted me to come to her home.  We chatted a bit longer and then she said it again.  I was convinced I probably needed to go.  

Her house was just beside me on the hill.  And when I got to here house I discovered that the 2 young kids were her grandchildren as well as 1 more child there.  Their mother had died and she was caring for them.  We visited for a little bit and ten she brought me a letter in English that was addressed to her grand-daughter.  It was a sponsorship for her schooling from an international organization.  It was a lovely little letter and I was happy to translate it for her.  We visited about the sponsorship and I am not sure her granddaughter is actually sponsored or at least they have received no money for her.

They wanted to make some coffee for me.  But I really needed to get back to my house.  Ass I had now been gone for some time to clear my head.  As I walked back home, I thought my head is clear but I am not sure why.  The oldest boy from the house came running up behind barefooted and asking me for sandals.  I explained I didn't have any, this is pretty common thing for small children to ask for from foreigners.  

As I continued to walk home I just thought again about God.  What am I doing here?

I know this is a question many missionaries ask themselves from time to time. The experience is amazing, but there are many things that are rough from time to time about daily living.  So you find yourself asking the question.  I hope many people ask themselves that from time to time just to stay on track with what God wants from us in our lives.  It has now a few days later - I feel on track; despite still having a water shortage.  One of the artisans came by with some beautiful crafts and the rooster is crowing and all is well with the world.