Why do I choose to live my life in poverty?
In the afternoon of July 12th I found myself sobbing in my car. We were learning about poverty in the world and Haiti. And I just got a text message saying if I didn’t pay my cell phone they would shut it off. I had to take a break between learning about Haiti and hearing more about poverty to run to the bank. First I checked my bank account and I had about the amount of money that would cover the cost of classes I was taking. I didn’t have enough money to cover the cost of the full cell phone bill.
Why do I live my life in poverty?
I then realized I had just the right amount of money to cover the amount needed to keep the phone on from selling some artwork from Haiti and some of my own jewelry. As well as a donation that I received that week so I could deposit that to cover the cost of my gas home from the classes.
Why do I live my life in poverty?
After having a good cry in the car and talking to my mother; I pulled myself together and prayed for it to be ok.
- I went back to hear more statistics on how women and children are affected by being poor more than men.
- We learned how children around the world are beaten and work without food and water to make 8 cents an hour for their families to eat.
- I learned that there are children in Haiti still enslaved legally, cleaning and cooking for families of those that have more; they are called rasticfecs. If they are lucky they are fed and maybe go to school. If they are not lucky they are beaten and barely fed the scrapes you would give a dog.
- We learned about people who lose everything in the United States their homes, their jobs, and their hope.
Why do I live in Poverty?
After listening and listening and sharing a few tears and seeing my neighbors in the room and neighbors across the world live.
I thought about my own life.
I don’t choose to live my life in Poverty – I choose to live it with God!
I trust that God will take care of my ‘daily bread’. I know that God will provide and give me guidance to make it through. God will put people in my pathway that also see how amazing God works in the world. Sometimes God doesn’t work on my time. I would rather God didn’t wait until I had no money in the bank to take care of my needs. But you know something – that is when I felt closest to God this week. I cried out! I sat in my car and sobbed and cried, “Please God, Let this be ok. Let me get through this. Put people in my pathway so I don’t feel like this. I trust you will take care of this. Give me strength.”
As I left the car, I felt a sense of relief. I felt a sense of confidence back. I didn’t know how it would be ok. But I gave up trying to control it myself and knew God had it under control. I went back to learn more about the poor in the world.
I felt selfish learning these stories of others. I felt guilty for crying out to God about my empty bank account. After all I knew I was eating dinner that night and breakfast the next day. I knew I had a place to sleep – several really, if I needed it.
We sang a song – “Walk Humbly with your God”, one of my favorite songs. I was spending too much time looking up, thinking about the Jones, looking at what others had in the room, thinking about the large beautiful houses that surround the campus. I was not walking humbly with my God. I needed to continue to do that and seek justice and love kindness. Thinking of what I do have and not what I don’t have.
Again God taught me peace. I listened to the stories of the Haitian people shared by others and thought about all I knew of them too and I was asked to share my experiences. After I walked back to my table of Haitian products and my own jewelry, I felt the table becoming bare. I had sold so many things.
Thank you, Jesus.
Why do I choose to live in Poverty with God?
because it has taught me the beauty of others - my neighbors.
After a quick dinner before heading on the road, I packed up what things I still had left. The tote that was full to the brim plus extras in a neighbor’s hands when I came but was now just full. Then another neighbor came and bought another load full of stuff, leaving me with ¾ of a tote of artisan’s goods. Amazing God.
Upon leaving, this neighbor gave me inspirational words. She told me as a Grandma how amazing it was that I was doing this work. How she was delighted and blessed to have me there this week. I felt foolish again when I thought back, to crying out alone in the car to God; praying that God would show me and let me feel people with me. But I also gleamed with a smile and expressed how I could not do this without people [neighbors] like her who support my living in Haiti. I raise all my own funds through sharing with others about Haiti and selling the Haitian artwork as well as my own. She hadn’t known that I didn’t get ‘paid’ from some source. Nope – I trust God. And maybe I need to do a better job sharing that part of the message of my life. But it is tough to admit when you need money, no one likes to ask that sort of thing. We are taught in our culture not to talk about money. But I trust in God and continue living faithfully, even if it means some tears.
Why do I choose to live in Poverty with God?
I have stayed in a different bed every night this week to go and share about Haiti. – thanks to my neighbors.
I am able to drive a more economic car around to these places while in the US – thanks to a neighbor.
This week I was able to raise over $700 for artists in Haiti and myself to live. – thanks to my neighbors.
I was able to not only speak at School of Missions, but hear and learn more about people I love.
– thanks to my neighbors.
Then I shared at my local church in Vermillion that gives me an amazing amount of support and love, as well as the church in Gayville.
– amazing neighbors.
- Amazing God.
I remember when I knew I had to go into missions. After having gone to Haiti on the Solar Oven Partners I knew I had to go. This is not the first time this had happened you understand. The first time I felt a ‘calling’ was at my mother’s ordination service 15 years earlier. But it just seemed impossible to do, mostly because of the money – how would I live!? But after my trip to Haiti, it was as if God was standing there at the door, holding it open and waiting for me to step out. Waiting and waiting. Actually I remember when I finally made the decision I was living in the church apartment at the time, serving as the campus director. I was thinking and praying and had an image of standing on the top of the church on the second floor getting ready to jump of the building. I was terrified. But finally I said, “ok, ok, God let’s do it, I will trust you.” And as soon as I did I saw my whole congregation below me on the lawn right there to catch me. And now – 2 years later – that whole lawn is full of people. It is full of people from across the Dakotas conference as well as folks in Michigan, Iowa, Illinois, Minnisota, Colorado, New Mexico, Canada, and England and many others I maybe don’t even know
– my neighbors.
My neighbors here in the United States take care of me so I can help my neighbors in Haiti. And you know it works the same right back. That is the beauty of God’s love. My Haitian neighbors help me and show me how to love too so I can continue to show God’s amazing love to my neighbors in the United States.
