Changes and Frustrations

I found a blog I wrote a couple months ago now - and it explains why I have not wrote a blog in some time.  I have been in the States for a couple weeks now and have found I really needed this time to recharge.  But here are some words and reflections on how I was feeling a month or so ago.

It is true something has had me un-easy about Haiti lately. Not really sure what it is clearly. I think now maybe it is just many, many changes and also some home improvement stresses. That will get to anyone in any country right. Let me share about some of the happenings of life over the last month.


I recently built my new porch. I had a sketch of this in the states and I suppose I bit of a dream about it; just a place to relax and work and have some peace from the world. I was very excited about having it be very natural. Built from rocks in the area and for the roof using a natural material to cover it, called ‘la tanyay’ in Creole. Most of my Haitian friends were against this, some realized it was more beautiful but for most they thought I should go with the ever practical tin. But it was decided just waiting on the tree tops to be cut so it could be weaved into a roof for the porch. Leo – a local carpenter passed by my house the other day and told me that the roof was too flat to have the ‘la tanyay’. Oy ve – back to square one – I had also asked the boss man before if he thought the roof was too flat but he thought it would be fine. So now I have to buy the tin.

I also had the stress of the ceramic. I really struggled in buying the ceramic because most Haitian homes do not have it. It is sort of an extra luxury I think. But last year at the end of the year I was sick with possibly bronchitis and I think it was due to the moisture from the flooring. So I had to get the ceramic for health reasons. My family at the house convinced me I should put ceramic flooring on the porch too. We calculated the price and it would be $230 to buy the ceramic to cover everything. I agreed, it would be beautiful and a place to call home, although that was a lot of money. But the day they put it in I came home and we were 7 tiles short in the house and had not started on the porch. Everyone seemed it was just an easy fix – go buy more ceramic. But now the costs could not be justified just to cover my porch. I had it in the house for my health, but I couldn’t put it on the porch for that price. I also was 7 tiles short for the house which took another week to locate in Port au Prince. But now the ceramic is in and it is lovely. The porch is still missing tin but it will get there.

There have also been major changes in the organization that I volunteer for in Haiti. The director of Living Media International, Lee Rainboth moved back to the states after living here for 5 years. This has constituted many changes. Although much of the work has been in the hands of the Haitians anyway there is always the preconceived notion that the ‘white guy’ is running everything. There are also many things that Lee just did and no one knew it. It is terribly frustrating – many people have thought that just because Lee moved back to the states our programs are not all still running. But everything is still going on as it was before with the staff stepping up even stronger in their roles as directors for the organization. We have things that are different this year too, new construction on an elementary school, and new gallery in Jacmel, which has put staff in a few different roles. So it has been interesting sorting out and a struggle some days to know who is responsible for various aspects of the organization. Things are clicking along, but there are still days it has been very stressful.

I have been figuring out my role and duties as well and adjusting to the changes but with the house repairs as well, my world feels a little flipped upside down. I am just not ‘alez’ – a great creole word meaning – comfortable, one with the world, at home. Things are shaking themselves out in the transition. In the transition it is great I am here, because I am an encourager and an includer. I am here to help and encourage the staff to keep doing the wonderful job that they have been doing already. As well as all the other jobs I had previously, working with the artists, social media for the organization plus working on the new gallery and the Kids Sponsorship programs. Day by day….but right now a little upside down.

Reflections from Dakotas School of Missions last summer -

Why do I choose to live my life in poverty?

 

In the afternoon of July 12th I found myself sobbing in my car. We were learning about poverty in the world and Haiti. And I just got a text message saying if I didn’t pay my cell phone they would shut it off. I had to take a break between learning about Haiti and hearing more about poverty to run to the bank. First I checked my bank account and I had about the amount of money that would cover the cost of classes I was taking. I didn’t have enough money to cover the cost of the full cell phone bill.

 

Why do I live my life in poverty?

 

I then realized I had just the right amount of money to cover the amount needed to keep the phone on from selling some artwork from Haiti and some of my own jewelry. As well as a donation that I received that week so I could deposit that to cover the cost of my gas home from the classes.

 

Why do I live my life in poverty?

 

After having a good cry in the car and talking to my mother; I pulled myself together and prayed for it to be ok.

 

• I went back to hear more statistics on how women and children are affected by being poor more than men.
• We learned how children around the world are beaten and work without food and water to make 8 cents an hour for their families to eat.
• I learned that there are children in Haiti still enslaved legally, cleaning and cooking for families of those that have more; they are called rasticfecs. If they are lucky they are fed and maybe go to school. If they are not lucky they are beaten and barely fed the scrapes you would give a dog.
• We learned about people who lose everything in the United States their homes, their jobs, and their hope.

 

Why do I live in Poverty?

 

After listening and listening and sharing a few tears and seeing my neighbors in the room and neighbors across the world live.

 

I thought about my own life.

 

I don’t choose to live my life in Poverty – I choose to live it with God!

 

I trust that God will take care of my ‘daily bread’. I know that God will provide and give me guidance to make it through. God will put people in my pathway that also see how amazing God works in the world. Sometimes God doesn’t work on my time. I would rather God didn’t wait until I had no money in the bank to take care of my needs. But you know something – that is when I felt closest to God this week. I cried out! I sat in my car and sobbed and cried, “Please God, Let this be ok. Let me get through this. Put people in my pathway so I don’t feel like this. I trust you will take care of this. Give me strength.”

 

As I left the car, I felt a sense of relief. I felt a sense of confidence back. I didn’t know how it would be ok. But I gave up trying to control it myself and knew God had it under control. I went back to learn more about the poor in the world.

 

I felt selfish learning these stories of others. I felt guilty for crying out to God about my empty bank account. After all I knew I was eating dinner that night and breakfast the next day. I knew I had a place to sleep – several really, if I needed it.

 

We sang a song – “Walk Humbly with your God”, one of my favorite songs. I was spending too much time looking up, thinking about the Jones, looking at what others had in the room, thinking about the large beautiful houses that surround the campus. I was not walking humbly with my God. I needed to continue to do that and seek justice and love kindness. Thinking of what I do have and not what I don’t have.

 

Again God taught me peace. I listened to the stories of the Haitian people shared by others and thought about all I knew of them too and I was asked to share my experiences. After I walked back to my table of Haitian products and my own jewelry, I felt the table becoming bare. I had sold so many things.

 

Thank you, Jesus.

 

Why do I choose to live in Poverty with God?

               because it has taught me the beauty of others - my neighbors.

 

After a quick dinner before heading on the road, I packed up what things I still had left. The tote that was full to the brim plus extras in a neighbor’s hands when I came but was now just full. Then another neighbor came and bought another load full of stuff, leaving me with ¾ of a tote of artisan’s goods. Amazing God.

 

Upon leaving, this neighbor gave me inspirational words. She told me as a Grandma how amazing it was that I was doing this work. How she was delighted and blessed to have me there this week. I felt foolish again when I thought back, to crying out alone in the car to God; praying that God would show me and let me feel people with me. But I also gleamed with a smile and expressed how I could not do this without people [neighbors] like her who support my living in Haiti. I raise all my own funds through sharing with others about Haiti and selling the Haitian artwork as well as my own. She hadn’t known that I didn’t get ‘paid’ from some source. Nope – I trust God. And maybe I need to do a better job sharing that part of the message of my life. But it is tough to admit when you need money, no one likes to ask that sort of thing. We are taught in our culture not to talk about money. But I trust in God and continue living faithfully, even if it means some tears.

 

Why do I choose to live in Poverty with God?

 

I have stayed in a different bed every night this week to go and share about Haiti. – thanks to my neighbors.

 

I am able to drive a more economic car around to these places while in the US – thanks to a neighbor.

 

This week I was able to raise over $700 for artists in Haiti and myself to live. – thanks to my neighbors.

 

I was able to not only speak at School of Missions, but hear and learn more about people I love.

 

– thanks to my neighbors.

 

Then I shared at my local church in Vermillion that gives me an amazing amount of support and love, as well as the church in Gayville.

 

– amazing neighbors.

- Amazing God.

 

I remember when I knew I had to go into missions. After having gone to Haiti on the Solar Oven Partners I knew I had to go. This is not the first time this had happened you understand. The first time I felt a ‘calling’ was at my mother’s ordination service 15 years earlier. But it just seemed impossible to do, mostly because of the money – how would I live!? But after my trip to Haiti, it was as if God was standing there at the door, holding it open and waiting for me to step out. Waiting and waiting. Actually I remember when I finally made the decision I was living in the church apartment at the time, serving as the campus director. I was thinking and praying and had an image of standing on the top of the church on the second floor getting ready to jump of the building. I was terrified. But finally I said, “ok, ok, God let’s do it, I will trust you.” And as soon as I did I saw my whole congregation below me on the lawn right there to catch me. And now – 2 years later – that whole lawn is full of people. It is full of people from across the Dakotas conference as well as folks in Michigan, Iowa, Illinois, Minnisota, Colorado, New Mexico, Canada, and England and many others I maybe don’t even know

 

– my neighbors.

 

My neighbors here in the United States take care of me so I can help my neighbors in Haiti. And you know it works the same right back. That is the beauty of God’s love. My Haitian neighbors help me and show me how to love too so I can continue to show God’s amazing love to my neighbors in the United States.

 

 

 

 

 



Making Coffee

This is a much more difficult task in Haiti then it is in the United States.  First you go and pick the beans from the plant or buy them from the market.  Then you let them dry out in the sun for a day or two depending on how humid it is at the time.   Once they are dry you take off the outer coat to roast the coffee bean inside.  Roasting them - this is a long process; you stir and stir and stir the beans in a large pot over charcoal or wood.  After they have made a crunching, popping noise you know they are finished.  Then you put them in a large pedestsel and pound them into a powder.  After you have pounded and pounded, often times the person makes a lovely rhythm.  It is quite beautiful when you have two people working together to make the music, I mean the coffee grounds.  The powder is run through a strainer several times to make sure it is fine enough.  You then have the grounds to make coffee in the morning.  In the morning hopefully there is water to boil, if not you head to the well to fill up a 5 gallon bucket of water to start your work for the day.  Then you start the water boiling over charcoal or wood.  It takes a bit of time to get it started.  The boiling water has lots and lots of sugar, to make it rich and wonderful -Haitian style.  Then you pour the boiling sugar water through a small cloth sack.  They often do this pouring of boiling water with nothing in their hand to protect themselves, such as a pot holder or other barrier.  The coffee pours out of the small cloth sack in a lovely stream of rich black coffee.  The coffee is sweet and dark!  The mama’s often put it in a large metal cup at first to mix it back and forth.  Then with that little bit in the metal cup; they swish it around cooling it so they can have that first sip of the morning.   I am sometimes there for this long morning process and other times I may still be in bed.  I am always thrilled to hear those magic words from Mama Philomen in the morning – “Café, Angelica”.  I try never to take this for granted.  I greet her with a big smile and say “Mesi!”  Being very grateful for the couple day process she went through to make coffee for the family and myself.  Sometimes I think about brewing up my coffee in the States - opening my cupboard, putting a couple scoops of grounds in the filter, filling up the pitcher with water from my sink, and pushing the button.  After I have had time to get dressed for my day – and magically my coffee is ready.  Ahhhh – and then the magic did happen – as I sat on my bed early in the morning writing this – I didn’t hear Philo but heard the noise of the coffee pot and cups hitting my table and then Papi brought me in a cup of coffee.   Shortly after that Jerzie ran in for her little sip of coffee too.  Oh moments to cherish.

Reflections on Port au Prince

Oh, Port au Prince I don’t even, know what to do with you.  But you make me think and wonder and cry a bit.  We came in this morning and the city is beyond words.  The best and simplest way to describe it is ‘yucky’.  But that is not who you are, your people make you beautiful.  I arrived at the ‘house’ passing dirty, dusty roads, bouncing on potholes and brown water flowing through the streets of trash.  We were greeted with warm happy faces to see us; kisses on the cheek and a warm handshake saying ‘Bonswa’.  We enter the home to relax down a walking alley way through a narrow hallway to enter two dark rooms.  It feels good to be back home in Haiti.

Being Reminded of Haitian Hospitality After Arriving

I forgot a few things I guess about family and the Haitian system while I was gone. We arrived safely in Port au Prince. We were at the back of the plane so we took the second bus in. All of our luggage was there we just had to hunt it down. They remove it from the rack when it comes off the baggage carriage. But we got them all found and out the door. We had to wait and wait for our ride to come they were stuck in ‘blokus’ traffic jam. I walked across the parking lot to find them and got a double embrace from my two friends. The truck was there so I hopped on the back of it and directed them to the place of our luggage and other friends. We jammed all our luggage and us on the truck, barely fitting on. But still there was room for 2 Haitians plus a child and their things to head out of town.


As we headed through Port au Prince I was not feeling well and decided it was because I was hungry and of course tired. One of the American gals with us said she had she had a granola bar and handed it to me. As I looked up at the faces with me; I thought oh yeah I cannot eat this myself and not share. I forgot. In Haiti if you have something to eat you share in with those around you. So before I started eating I started digging for my other granola bar to share with the 4 people there; the 5 of us shared 2 granola bars. Later our driver, my friend Tigo bought plantains (potato chip style) for all of us to share. When we got to the turn off of from the road we all shared 3 plates of food for lunch. In Haiti we just share. If you have something you share it with those with you.

This Haitian hospitality, this notion of sharing everything you have, bit me later again when arriving at my house. I was going to sleep in my bed and the two college students that came with me brought air mattresses to sleep on. But my Haitian family insisted I had to give up my bed. They were guests and they would have a bed to sleep in. I still had a bed to sleep in, the family took one of the air mattresses and gave me their bed. But I think about how often that happens in the United States. And this is not to say we don’t have great hospitality in the United States. And I experienced great hospitality while in the states!! I am also more than happy to sleep on a couch or an air mattress when someone is willing to have me stay at their house. And I have many, many a soul to thank for this while in the U.S. I even think about when I have house guests in the states. I love my comfortable bed and don’t really sacrifice too much to have friends or family stay with me. There is only one time I gave up my bed for company and that was for my mother because I didn’t have a spare bed so I slept on the couch. There has been several occasions while visiting PaP that a Haitian family member has given up there bed so that I might sleep there and they would be sleeping on the floor. It has always been curious where I might sleep when visiting other places – but I always know I will be well taken care of.

I am continually learning from my brothers and sisters in Haiti. And sometimes I admit I don’t like it!! [I say with a smile and a wink.] This is what Jesus was teaching us too. “Love you neighbor as yourself.” And really one of the greatest lessons we can learn in school is to share. But as we get more and more stuff for our comfortable lives, it becomes harder and harder to share it. It seems like an odd thing. But they say that often in giving trends in the United States; often times those that give the most don’t have as much to give. I have witnessed that many times both in the United States and in Haiti. When people are generous, sharing, and giving you feel the presents of God, especially in those moments.

Morning in Haiti - Reflection

I arise to the sounds of the world around me.

Chickens peeping and crowing that it is morning.

Close your eyes and imagine that nature surrounding you.

You hear pitter pattering of feet as they head to the well and still the sun has not rose yet.

More voices are added as neighbors come and buy a small amount of sugar.

Sweet coffee and a piece of bread for breakfast.

 The family has woken up and you hear a baby crying in the distance;

Then the sound of the men working in the field,

Now the other birds have begun their morning song.

Haitians singing with the birds gives joy to my heart.

It is morning in Haiti.

Just Some Observations on Differences in US and Haiti

I have been thinking a lot about quantity and quality lately. I was wandering around Sam’s Club twice in the last week with my mother, shopping for things for the new house. I found myself memorized by all the choices of things to buy and the size and quantity of various items left me speechless. I used to shop at Sam’s Club sometimes but now the thought of a double 24 oz of ketchup just seems silly. Now obviously there are business reasons for shopping this big or maybe you have a family of 8 who love their hotdogs and French fries.


But as I wandered through the aisles a small smile came to my face as I think about my neighbor Edna who comes over to the ‘grocery store’ every morning around 6 am or earlier and says “Pa gen moun” – [Is anyone there?], “Vini achte” – [I have come to buy.] She comes over every morning to buy sugar or rice or 1 bouillon cube for the day. Many people come and buy that days food. I used to think maybe it was because they didn’t have enough money to buy 2 days worth of food. But that is not it. It is just the way they do it in Haiti. I don’t understand it, but know I also don’t understand buying a year’s supply of ketchup.

I hear so many people say “we are so blessed in this country” when they hear me tell stories of Haiti.
I am not so sure that I would call a year’s supply of ketchup a blessing.
Are we blessed?
Maybe we are blessed with ThinGs!
Too many things maybe, maybe spoiled with all the comforts of life we lose sight of what is really important. When you have an over quantity of stuff when do you lose sight of quality of life.

Oh Water.

I tried to thoroughly enjoy running water while in the states. I also really appreciated having it for about 2-3 weeks, when I first came back to the states. I was sort of amazed and said a little prayer every time I turned on the faucet. But after a good month I lost some of the gratitude and amazement of this magical thing called water. I still was pretty impressed with water fountains and with ice cold water, hot showers and of course ice makers. The last few days I was trying to prepare myself for the return to no running water again in Haiti.

I fell right back into the rhythm of Haiti though. I filled up the 2 gallon jug, to put in the cooking pot to wash the dishes in. I filled up the gallon jug by dipping it in the large drum of water and using it to fill the 5 gallon bucket to take a sponge bath. As the water level in the drum gets lower and lower, I wonder when someone will go and fill it up and if we will have it in time for showers later in the day. I know we will and if we don’t someone will go get it when we arrive. Water is such a blessed thing! It really is, I don’t even think we give it a second thought in other countries. So the next time you turn on your faucet say a prayer for the people in the world that walk for miles to get a gallon of water. And see what you might do to help all people of the world have clean drinking water.

Last Spring our ‘Group of 20’ Poverty Intervention team wrote grants for water distribution and wells in their communities. Whenever you ask Haitians what one of the greatest problems they see in their community is; they will respond ‘lack of clean water’. This summer the artists in the area did a art show based on water. These are some of their paintings.

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150848063272434.381405.171990932433&type=3

Artist: Jean Baptiste Gere


Artist : Georges Dinipy


Artist:  Astrel Joseph

I will keep you updated on what becomes of the grants. There was also a water filter distribution too made from donations from a team in the U.S. Thank You to all who think about their water and do something about water for everyone in the world. We have to continue to work together on this problem so everyone can have water and have clean water to drink.

I don't have.....! ....but what do I gain?

People have asked what it is like to transition from Haiti to the United States. I wrote the following while I was in Haiti but wasn’t sure how to publish it or how it was coming together. Now as I read it, with the TV going and drinking an ice cold glass of tap water, while working on my computer .....

I don’t have electricity but in the evenings I sit and talk for hours with friends and family.

I don’t have electricity so I am able to always get more than 8 hours of sleep.

I don’t have electricity so I have more hours to do things in my day, without distractions.

I don’t’ have electricity so I get to have a candlelight dinner almost every night.

I don’t’ have electricity so I appreciate it more when I find it.

I don’t have a washing machine but the woman that washes my clothes is grateful to have the work.

I don’t have a toilet so I never have to plunge it when it gets stopped up.

I don’t have a bathtub but I get to take a sponge bath everyday in the sunlight looking at the trees.

I don’t have a toaster and it makes me appreciate that heated bread so much more.

I don’t’ have a microwave but I get to sit and visit with Ti Madame while the coals heat our food.

I don’t have a stove but I enjoy finding creative ways of cooking and discovering what we can make.

I don’t’ have a freezer – no ‘but’ this time, I do miss ice, leftovers, and ice cream!


                  But it tastes so much sweeter then when I do have it!

The truth is we I don’t have electricity in Haiti or running water. But for me it makes me appreciate and love life so much more and also value my brothers and sisters more.
We should all try for a little simplicity in our lives.

Creating

Are you an artist? I struggle with the response to this question. It has taken me a long time to admit one of the gifts God has given me is that of creativity or art. But early in the morning, looking at the real artistry of creation and awe at what God has made; I wonder if I just am able to see and appreciate what is there. Maybe, just a little bit of it can rub off on me and I can create too. This morning I watched as one of the trees I can see off my front porch was sun kissed in the morning. It glowed yellow as if it was just greeting the sun and said with peace and a smile, “Bonjou”. That tree had a moment with the sun and now they are both carrying on with their day. I am happy I awoke early enough to see it.

The other morning I couldn’t sleep and awoke very early before the sun. A friend and I went on the roof to greet the sun. He said it was the best time to pray to God. Speak into the skies with your arms raised and praise, he showed me. “Oh, Mesi Bondye [Oh, Thank you God].” We sat and watched with anticipation as the colors changed at the top of the trees and you knew that sun would make an appearance, soon. We watched the beauty for awhile and then decided to take a walk. We walked for just a bit and then I felt it. I turned and just like the tree the other day, the sun said, “Bonjou, Bonjou, Angelica.” I stood there for a moment and closed my eyes and let the light know me. I took a deep breath of thanks and went on with my day.

Take a moment to appreciate creation and the beauty around you. Look at what God has done and what you do and create in your world everyday.

Dream Big in Haiti and all over the World

I have been trying to put into words something I have been thinking a lot about the last couple of weeks. I came back from Haiti about 3 weeks ago and during that time I have been watching my nephew. It has been a true joy. One I could not have imagined, it is sort of an odd feeling – he looks so much like my brother and I swear I am having flashbacks to when my brother was just his age and I was 3 years old. Now I maybe have a glimpse as to why grandparents are so crazy about their grandchildren. You see your own children in that little face and you just get to love him or her. So I am a very happy Aunt and blessed to be able to have so much time with him.

But as I watch this little guy I look around and see all the things he has to play with in the house. And all the other stuff he has, I think like your typical American baby – I can vouch for other children I have watched. He has the little sitting chair that lights up and moves, the one the baby lays under with all the fun things to look at, the little walking seat, and then all the hand held toys and stuffed animals. Not to mention I watch Baby Einstein with him as he watches with fascination. But one of the things he was most interested in, most intrigued by this week was my black and white Dreamer shirt with LMi.

As my nephew sat starring at my T-shirt that reads across the bottom – “Dream Big” it made me sad to think of the differences in Haiti and United States; not only in material possessions but in encouragement and being able to dream.

In the US we live by some mottos –

“You can be anything you want.”

“If you work hard enough you can have it all.”

“Follow your dreams”

...and many more.

But in Haiti dreaming is hard. You don’t see many great success stories, and I think it would be hard to for a Haitian to answer the question – “Who inspires you?” or “Who is your hero?” We have an amazing legacy of people who have gone before us, which they do in Haiti too but are fewer and farther between. A young Haitian often only sees what is right in front of him and a dream of making something of his/her future is much more difficult when the family has to decide between education and food for the family; and certainly not toys that might be able to spark their creativity and dream bigger. This is one of the things I work at bridging with the Haitian people, sharing a little inspiration.  And showing and teaching the young adults how they can be an inspiration to children in their community.  One of our staff with LMi was asked what is success during a workshop he replied "…”It’s when younger students begin to look to me as a role model and then I know that I’ve set an example for success…”.

I think a lot about Jerzie – my god-daughter in Haiti whom also lives on the same property, as I watch my nephew. I have watched her grow up and enjoy watching her play at the age of 17 months. I watch her playing around the house and her creative mind picking up everything. Now I imagine when I go back, to Haiti, I will think about my nephew and all his toys. Jerzie had the little toy that kids learn to walk in.; but now, her and the neighbor boy share a little truck they can pull around. Many of the children in Haiti have no toys. Most toys come along later, around 5-8 years old when the children create the toy themselves. The most common toys I have seen are rims to bicycle wheels – the kids push them around with a stick and try and keep them rolling without falling down. Or the example below of 2 lids to a butter dish attached to a stick that my neighbor made.

I don’t know what the answers are for the future generations of Haiti. But I do know like all young people they need to be inspired. They need to see examples of success from people that have gone before them. And I will continue to ask them
“What is your dream?”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
and encouraging them by expressing to them
“You can do it!” 
“Follow your dreams.”
That is something that we can all do for people in our lives. Tell it to your family and friends but also share it with a stranger or someone you know maybe has never heard those words before. “You can be anything you want in this world!” and “Dream Big!”

Water is a Luxury

One of the common sights in Haiti you see is the women carrying the 5 gallon water buckets on their heads.  It always amazes me they are even able to do this.  Often times they have a 5 gallon bucket on their heads and a gallon jug in each arm.  I realize they start this at a very young age but still every time I see one of these ladies I am in awe and impressed. 


Photo by Russ Stone in La Biche, Haiti on a Solar Oven Partners Trip

I think about how we in the US take water for granted.  It is just there, always there.  You turn on the faucet and you even have a choice between hot and cold.  And many people have ice instantly available to them in our refrigerator door with the ice cold water.  I think consciousness of water has always been on my mind for some reason.  I remember being amazed by a Chemistry teacher in high school who said she showered in 3 minutes including washing and conditioning her hair.  I was impressed by how little water she was using.  To wash the dishers, I always fill the sink with just enough water; it bothers me when I see people just letting the water run down the sink as they wash each dish individually.  I used to have a friend that let the water run the whole time she was brushing her teeth too.  This was all before I lived in Haiti.  Now I take great joy in being able to dampin my toothbrush and then rinse it thoroughly when I am done, while in the U.S.  Not like in Haiti when I have to think about using too much, because I may not have some later in the day to drink, unless I buy some more. 

In Haiti I have a large barrel outside my home that collects rain water.  But during the 'winter' - dry season,  I continually debate how I will have water.  Most Haitians go and get their own water carrying that 5 gallon water on their head or kids go and get a gallon or two or 4 at a time in their hands.  However typically foreigners don't do that, they pay someone to go get their water for them.  This saves them from falling flat on their faces and it gives a local person a little job.  I live on the same property with a family so we share the water.  I one time suggested paying for water but the family wouldn't have it.  They thought they were responsible for my water supply.  But this has been a struggle, the mother's leg always hurts when she goes and gets the water and the brothers are never home.  Which leaves Eugenie but she has Jerzie at home so is usually busy with her and cooking; not enough time to get water for the whole family let alone this gal here. 

So one day I decided to go down and get water with Papi, just with a gallon jug in each hand.  I didn't know how to feel about it with many different thoughts running through my head - such as "This is no big deal, I can do this." to "This is a lot of work just for water; I could just have someone else fill the barrel for me."  And a whole range of emotions.  But the really sad thing is - I live close to the well!  Some people might walk for a mile or more to get water.  As all these thoughts were running through my head, climbing down the steep mountain down to the well; we arrive to find two of the children from New Life School there with their mother.  We all chatted as we filled our water jugs.  The mother had a 5 gallon bucket and 4 gallon jugs.  After she was done filling 2 of the gallons she put one in her 7 year old son's hand and one on her 5 year old daughters head, so they could start up the mountain ahead of her.  After she let us fill our 4 gallons of water.  After we left we found the children half way up the steep hill.  The gallon of water had fallen from Lydia's head and she was struggling to carry it in her hands.  I picked up her jug, along with my 2 and told her to head on up the mountain.  Once at the top of the mountain I told them to wait for their mother. 
And I joyfully carried my water home. 

I don't understand how the water comes out of the faucet in the United States but it seems we could make that happen in Haiti.  Well maybe we couldn't but someone could, or at least figure out a way to make it easier and give access for everyone to have drinkable water.  But in the mean time think about all the blessings we have like a faucet with running water and hot and cold and you can drink it! Most importantly appreciate it! but also consider what you could do so that everyone in the world could have that luxury.

New Life School with Living Media International

Some international friends shared some books with us. Most kids only have their lesson books.  They don't have any books just for fun.  Once when I read a Dr Suess book with an adult friend, he said with joy and amazement, "Where did you get this?"  We love books & are sharing them with our kids.

 

 The current New Life School - they have been meeting in an old house.  But next year the children will have a new school.

 Starting the outside wall on the new school.

 

The new desks provided by a United Methodist Community in Ortonville, MN. 
For more information about that story check out this blog http://www.angelicaheartforhaiti.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-never-would-have-imagined-from-one.html

 Everyday the kids receive lunch at the school.  A couple of the moms cook a large pot of rice and beans for all the kids and teachers.  The kids all bring their plate and spoon from home.  They also bring water and sticks to help with the preparations of the meal.

 

 
LMi in partnership with "Then Feed Just One"
A Big Thank You! to "Than Feed Just One", who provides the meals everyday. 

 

 This young man has on the new school uniforms.

The 1st Grade Class.  

 The 6th Grade Class.

 The 4th Grade Class.

The 3rd Grade Class.  

 Lydia sharing the book with one of the older kids.

 Some of the kids whom houses we visited.

I sat in on math class to learn my Creole numbers.   

 The old school classrooms were divided with tarps.  But in the new school there will be 6 classrooms, a lunch room storage area, cistern, and a large yard to play in.

The 2nd Grade Class - the largest class and it is all boys!

The future site of New Life School.  Fall 2012

Challenging perspective - maybe I don't understand a gift.

I don’t understand. I don’t know why but I don’t understand. Do you ever just decide to buy something for your friends, neighbors, or family for no reason? Maybe once in awhile you do. I guess on occasion sometimes I have. So why, why am I brought to tears now by a friend of mine in Haiti. He came to get water at our Center for Living Media. He had a black sack in his hands that was on the seat beside him. He goes back and forth to the city often; and often times he picks up some rice and beans at DiMez. So my first thought at 1:00pm, having not eaten lunch yet was –“Yes! he has some extra rice and beans to share with me!” As I am getting hungry and didn’t think to bring anything with me and it isn’t like there is a McDonalds in the neighborhood.

Of course I was trying not to be excited as he was playing with the sack and saying ‘I have something for you. This is for you.” I take the sack and it is shoes. Shoes? What? – odd. My second thought was I don’t really need shoes, but that was nice – maybe I can give them to one of my family members. But he said he saw them and said ‘Angelica needs those for the mud.’ It is true as we are starting on rainy season here. The mud sticks to my shoes very badly. He made sure to tell me too, they were not for my family members but for me. This was funny because I was irritated with Haiti this morning; in Haiti everyone shares shoes, in your household if you see a pair of shoes there you can just where them. My shoes were borrowed by Eugenie yesterday during the rain storm and were now on the feet of a cousin of theirs who I met yesterday. Now granted I have sort of tried to get used to this but seeing your shoes on a strangers feet is sort of odd.

Picture taken from Terry Dewald's team in Feb 2011 at an orphanage in Jacmel.

So back to the shoes, they are nice shoes and I continue to be perplexed. Why? And yet my heart says and why not Angelica, he is a friend of yours and decided it would be nice to buy you a pair of shoes. I strive for equality in Haiti; it is something that I constantly struggle fighting against. However, with a long history of ‘white’ coming in and giving, giving; it is expected. Also, because of this it has set up this idea that ‘Foreign’ things are better than Haitian things. Which saddens me and is something I work to change; however the sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach and the uneasiness of my heart tells me maybe I don’t see things 100% equal too.

We are so ingrained to view the world in such a way and it is interesting and often times perplexing when our view point is challenged. I feel I am pretty open minded and try to look at the world justly. Then why do I feel uncomfortable and wonderful in these new shoes I am wearing? I have phrases running through my head such as ‘What did I do to deserve these?’ ‘What is he wanting in return?’ and ‘I should really give these to someone else, who needs them more’ and ‘I am such a jerk for thinking those thoughts about other people taking my shoes and wearing them.’ I also think of the sometimes silly things that Jesus used to do. Oh, now we don’t look at them as silly, they are wonderful philosophies of looking at the world. But back in the day they were viewed as odd. Why would a Samaritan help a Jew? Why would you talk to a prostitute? And why would a Haitian give an American a pair of shoes? …..Because it is just the way you love! You love all people – not for a reason. Not for future gain, not because someone loved you first; (Although someone did love you first.)  you just LOVE.
Crazy, Silly, Perplexing and Odd isn’t it?

Karma

I have been struggling with what to write about lately in Haiti. Because life has become more ‘normal’ so I sometimes lose sight of the things that are different or I think that I have already wrote about it. Today I went down to Jacmel to run some errands and got on facebook for a moment. I saw a cute little cartoon that was about Karma. Sometimes we don’t really know how our actions will affect us for our future.

As we were coming back up the mountain my driver, Papi, picked up an old man on the side of the road that was walking to his destination. He picked him up just to be nice and it got me started thinking about that idea of karma. I see people walking all the time and often wonder; why, don’t we just pick some of them up. But you can’t because people pay a ‘taxi’ driver to go up the mountain; if you don’t have the money you walk. As we were driving I reminded Papi that we had to buy a chicken to replace the chicken my cat ate. My cat has ate a couple chickens but this last time he got caught by the neighbors, so I knew I had to replace it.

The old man we picked up was going to the market. I couldn’t believe the distance he was going to walk. As we parked the motorcycle, Papi talked to the old man about buying the chicken in the market. I don’t shop in the market because often when my white skin is shown the price goes up. The man was more than happy to go buy the chicken. We waited at the end of the market where all the motorcycles sit. Papi bought some peanuts for us while we waited and I enjoyed people watching. As we were sitting there – it dawned on me we were going to have to get this chicken home. So I ask Papi –he was a bit confused; but realized when the chicken came and I had not the slightest idea what to do with it. He handed it to me and hesitantly held it and jumped on the moto.

Upon arriving at the house, I of coarse had to have a photo taken as this was the first chicken I had ever carried home that was alive. I was also very proud that I had handled this situation with my cat eating the neighbors chicken. The family yelled for the neighbors when we arrived, to come over. The lady of the house came over with the baby and I showed her the chicken. But she was shaking her head and saying no, no, she could not accept it. I was confused and a bit hurt. I had felt bad about the chicken and this would make it right. Eugenie and Papi tried to explain to me that she couldn’t accept because we are neighbors and we watch her son all the time. I understood all that, but still fair is fair.

So now I have a chicken. And a cat tied up in the house. The cat ate another 3 chickens yesterday. The neighbor said I just needed to eat him and get another one, simple as that. I am torn as to what to do this is not an outdoor cat with no name; this is Marco and he sleeps in my bed. But fair might have to be fair and I am going to have to get rid of my cat.

This really started out about Karma. We gave the old man a ride, he bought the chicken, I bought the chicken because my cat ate the chicken. The neighbor couldn’t accept because we watch her son.

So I had an egg this morning….and my cat was moved (I pray) to another zone.  Nothing to do with Karma … oh wait. I guess it is Marco’s karma. 

Fear and Challenges

I read of on a friend of mine’s Facebook status one day in passing. “Do something every day that scares you.” He was talking about how he had been fighting cancer and the scariness of that. Having that fear of not knowing if he had tomorrow taught him to appreciate what he had more. But after he was in remission, he realized it was this really this sense of fear that taught him to live more fully.

Another fear - crossing the river when the water is over the bridge!  As you can see the motorcyles aren't going so people walk across or they pay someone to carry you on their back.  I just pray I am in a truck.

This idea runs through my head often as I live in Haiti; especially when I am flying down the mountains on a motorcycle. Every time it scares me I am always thinking what if a large truck meets us on the road or the rocks or slick and so on. Lately I have diving into teaching. I never imagined myself as a teacher; I never had any intentions of being a teacher. But I am working in Education here; Education is what people need to change their futures. I have observed many times the various classroom dynamics here. I have watched teachers both at our Primary School and our English teachers with Living Media. The teaching process in Haiti is memorization. The teacher puts the words on the board and the students copy them down. Then they memorize, the same with their lesson books they sit and read the books like a chant memorizing every word. It is definitely a different style to learning then I am used to. But it works, but does not necessarily promote creative thinking.

Lee and I were discussing this one time and came up with the perfect analogy. It is like when we put the desks together at the school and the children helped. Brent Olson showed them how to put one together and it was like the kids had logged it into memory how to do it. They put together the others very past and Brent even thought faster then they put them together in the States. They watched it once and had it. I have heard many people say this about Haitians – It is amazing how fast they learn something. They watched us and then they did it. But I think if you just set those pieces of wood in front of them I am not sure they could have guessed how to put them together. However if you showed an American how to do it, I think it would take longer to pick up. It would have for me at least a couple times of working with someone else and then I could probably learn it. However, if you left the desk there for an American to figure out – eventually they would get it and put creative thinking to use to assemble it. I remember this same illustration when I came to Haiti with the Solar Oven Partners. It took me several, several times of showing me how to put these ovens together. But my Haitian brothers and sisters they would watch someone do it – and then they had it. Often times correcting me in the way I was putting it together. It is just different styles of learning.

Anyway – what does this have to do with fear? I want to figure out how to teach my Haitian students more effectively. And I realized that scares me this idea of trying to figure out how to teach and, also wanting to give some of the teachers some tools to also interject some creativity and critical thinking. Almost every day I have been ‘breaking the rules’ I have put my students in a circle in the classroom instead of rows. And the day we did numbers I didn’t even write anything on the board – we just practiced saying the numbers with each other. The student themselves look fearful at this thought of ‘changing the rules’ of learning. But after awhile I see them having fun and learning and enjoying. Without a little fear I am not sure you can continue to grow – so challenge yourself. Step out and scare yourself a little or maybe even a lot.

Haitian Women in Mizak

The last few weeks have been an interesting study in women in Haiti for me. I have not yet comprised my words all together to fully understand the depths of what it means to be a woman in Haiti. Heck I don’t even think I would have the words to tell you what it means to be a woman in the United States. A series of things have happened and I feel the need to share a few of these observations with you. A few weeks ago Lee and I started working on a project to start 2 small creative women’s groups from the Creole literacy class; one of the classes for writing and one for visual arts.

First we brought the ladies together for a meeting to talk to them about what we were going to do. We had chosen some of the more advanced students from both the 1st year Literacy students and the 2nd year Literacy students. We shared our information but this also became an opportunity to share what the literacy classes have meant to them.

“People think we have no value because we cannot read or write.”

“We are looked down on and disrespected in the market because we never went to school.”

“A friend of ours went to a church in Jacmel and a rich sophisticated women gave her a religious book to share with her about her faith. The women cried all the way up the mountain because she felt less then this other lady – she could not read the book she gave her.”

“But now we are stronger.”

“People look at us differently.”

It was powerful to hear these stories. The next week we met to introduce the class a bit to them and introduce our selves and share a bit more about ourselves. We had them share their name and what makes them unique. Something struck me as the women were sharing. I could tell who the first year students and who were the second year students. The first year students couldn’t wait to stand up and share about themselves. You could see in their faces and body language how proud they are and their confidence level. It was…

In our English class last week we had a few visitors for Drew University. They shared some English with our 2nd and 3rd year students then they shared some of the reasons they are in the community. They were here to talk about violence against women in the community. They asked the question if people saw that here. A couple men answered not really, it’s more in the city, and others agreed. We had 3 women in class that day and one shared about how a woman was beat on the way to the well. Some of the guys laughed as the woman was talking and it was also contagious laughter. When asked why he laughed he tried to say it was just the way she told the story not about the woman being beat. But you could tell there it was uncomfortable to talk about with the men and the women.

The next day one of Drew University’s professors let the discussion with women of the community to share and talk about violence against women in the community. The women talked and shared many stories. Many things they have observed and experienced in this community in Mizak of violence against women. Finally one of the women said there are just too many stories to tell you them all. The women also shared about how they celebrated International Women’s Day. At the end of telling the stories they shared a song they had wrote about women standing together.

The women in Haiti continue to amaze me with their perseverance and strength and love.

Women of Mizak

The last few weeks have been an interesting study in women in Haiti for me. I have not yet comprised my words all together to fully understand the depths of what it means to be a woman in Haiti. Heck I don’t even think I would have the words to tell you what it means to be a woman in the United States. A series of things have happened and I feel the need to share a few of these observations with you. A few weeks ago Lee and I started working on a project to start 2 small creative women’s groups from the Creole literacy class; one of the classes for writing and one for visual arts.


First we brought the ladies together for a meeting to talk to them about what we were going to do. We had chosen some of the more advanced students from both the 1st year Literacy students and the 2nd year Literacy students. We shared our information but this also became an opportunity to share what the literacy classes have meant to them.

“People think we have no value because we cannot read or write.”

“We are looked down on and disrespected in the market because we never went to school.”

“A friend of ours went to a church in Jacmel and a rich sophisticated women gave her a religious book to share with her about her faith. The women cried all the way up the mountain because she felt less then this other lady – she could not read the book she gave her.”

“But now we are stronger.”

“People look at us differently.”

It was powerful to hear these stories. The next week we met to introduce the class a bit to them and introduce our selves and share a bit more about ourselves. We had them share their name and what makes them unique. Something struck me as the women were sharing. I could tell who the first year students and who were the second year students. The first year students couldn’t wait to stand up and share about themselves. You could see in their faces and body language how proud they are and their confidence level. It was…

In our English class last week we had a few visitors for Drew University. They shared some English with our 2nd and 3rd year students then they shared some of the reasons they are in the community. They were here to talk about violence against women in the community. They asked the question if people saw that here. A couple men answered not really, it’s more in the city, and others agreed. We had 3 women in class that day and one shared about how a woman was beat on the way to the well. Some of the guys laughed as the woman was talking and it was also contagious laughter. When asked why he laughed he tried to say it was just the way she told the story not about the woman being beat. But you could tell there it was uncomfortable to talk about with the men and the women.

The next day one of Drew University’s professors let the discussion with women of the community to share and talk about violence against women in the community. The women talked and shared many stories. Many things they have observed and experienced in this community in Mizak of violence against women. Finally one of the women said there are just too many stories to tell you them all. The women also shared about how they celebrated International Women’s Day. At the end of telling the stories they shared a song they had wrote about women standing together.

The women in Haiti continue to amaze me with their perseverance and strength and

Scared and thinking differently

I read of on a friend of mine’s Facebook status one day in passing. “Do something every day that scares you.” He was talking about how he had been fighting cancer and the scariness of that. Having that fear of not knowing if he had tomorrow taught him to appreciate what he had more. But after he was in remission, he realized it was this really this sense of fear that taught him to live more fully.

This idea runs through my head often as I live in Haiti; especially when I am flying down the mountains on a motorcycle. Every time it scares me I am always thinking what if a large truck meets us on the road or the rocks or slick and so on. Lately I have diving into teaching. I never imagined myself as a teacher; I never had any intentions of being a teacher. But I am working in Education here; Education is what people need to change their futures. I have observed many times the various classroom dynamics here. I have watched teachers both at our Primary School and our English teachers with Living Media. The teaching process in Haiti is memorization. The teacher puts the words on the board and the students copy them down. Then they memorize, the same with their lesson books they sit and read the books like a chant memorizing every word. It is definitely a different style to learning then I am used to. But it works, but does not necessarily promote creative thinking.

Lee and I were discussing this one time and came up with the perfect analogy. It is like when we put the desks together at the school and the children helped. Brent Olson showed them how to put one together and it was like the kids had logged it into memory how to do it. They put together the others very fast and Brent even thought faster then they put them together in the States. They watched it once and had it. I have heard many people say this about Haitians – It is amazing how fast they learn something. They watched us and then they did it. But I think if you just set those pieces of wood in front of them I am not sure they could have guessed how to put them together. However if you showed an American how to do it, I think it would take longer to pick up. It would have for me at least a couple times of working with someone else and then I could probably learn it. However, if you left the desk there for an American to figure out – eventually they would get it and put creative thinking to use to assemble it. I remember this same illustration when I came to Haiti with the Solar Oven Partners. It took me several, several times of showing me how to put these ovens together. But my Haitian brothers and sisters they would watch someone do it – and then they had it.

Often times correcting me in the way I was putting it together. It is just different styles of learning.

Anyway – what does this have to do with fear? I want to figure out how to teach my Haitian students more effectively. And I realized that scares me this idea of trying to figure out how to teach and, also wanting to give some of the teachers some tools to also interject some creativity and critical thinking. Almost every day I have been ‘breaking the rules’ I have put my students in a circle in the classroom instead of rows. And the day we did numbers I didn’t even write anything on the board – we just practiced saying the numbers with each other. The student themselves look fearful at this thought of ‘changing the rules’ of learning. But after awhile I see them having fun and learning and enjoying. Without a little fear I am not sure you can continue to grow – so challenge yourself. Step out and scare yourself a little or maybe even a lot.