Changes and Frustrations

I found a blog I wrote a couple months ago now - and it explains why I have not wrote a blog in some time.  I have been in the States for a couple weeks now and have found I really needed this time to recharge.  But here are some words and reflections on how I was feeling a month or so ago.

It is true something has had me un-easy about Haiti lately. Not really sure what it is clearly. I think now maybe it is just many, many changes and also some home improvement stresses. That will get to anyone in any country right. Let me share about some of the happenings of life over the last month.


I recently built my new porch. I had a sketch of this in the states and I suppose I bit of a dream about it; just a place to relax and work and have some peace from the world. I was very excited about having it be very natural. Built from rocks in the area and for the roof using a natural material to cover it, called ‘la tanyay’ in Creole. Most of my Haitian friends were against this, some realized it was more beautiful but for most they thought I should go with the ever practical tin. But it was decided just waiting on the tree tops to be cut so it could be weaved into a roof for the porch. Leo – a local carpenter passed by my house the other day and told me that the roof was too flat to have the ‘la tanyay’. Oy ve – back to square one – I had also asked the boss man before if he thought the roof was too flat but he thought it would be fine. So now I have to buy the tin.

I also had the stress of the ceramic. I really struggled in buying the ceramic because most Haitian homes do not have it. It is sort of an extra luxury I think. But last year at the end of the year I was sick with possibly bronchitis and I think it was due to the moisture from the flooring. So I had to get the ceramic for health reasons. My family at the house convinced me I should put ceramic flooring on the porch too. We calculated the price and it would be $230 to buy the ceramic to cover everything. I agreed, it would be beautiful and a place to call home, although that was a lot of money. But the day they put it in I came home and we were 7 tiles short in the house and had not started on the porch. Everyone seemed it was just an easy fix – go buy more ceramic. But now the costs could not be justified just to cover my porch. I had it in the house for my health, but I couldn’t put it on the porch for that price. I also was 7 tiles short for the house which took another week to locate in Port au Prince. But now the ceramic is in and it is lovely. The porch is still missing tin but it will get there.

There have also been major changes in the organization that I volunteer for in Haiti. The director of Living Media International, Lee Rainboth moved back to the states after living here for 5 years. This has constituted many changes. Although much of the work has been in the hands of the Haitians anyway there is always the preconceived notion that the ‘white guy’ is running everything. There are also many things that Lee just did and no one knew it. It is terribly frustrating – many people have thought that just because Lee moved back to the states our programs are not all still running. But everything is still going on as it was before with the staff stepping up even stronger in their roles as directors for the organization. We have things that are different this year too, new construction on an elementary school, and new gallery in Jacmel, which has put staff in a few different roles. So it has been interesting sorting out and a struggle some days to know who is responsible for various aspects of the organization. Things are clicking along, but there are still days it has been very stressful.

I have been figuring out my role and duties as well and adjusting to the changes but with the house repairs as well, my world feels a little flipped upside down. I am just not ‘alez’ – a great creole word meaning – comfortable, one with the world, at home. Things are shaking themselves out in the transition. In the transition it is great I am here, because I am an encourager and an includer. I am here to help and encourage the staff to keep doing the wonderful job that they have been doing already. As well as all the other jobs I had previously, working with the artists, social media for the organization plus working on the new gallery and the Kids Sponsorship programs. Day by day….but right now a little upside down.