"A new song in my mouth" - written last spring in Haiti

Today has been a beautifully perfect day in Haiti.  And why shouldn’t it be I suppose.  I was struggling a lot last year being here.  Nothing seemed to fit, to flow, so many road blocks.  I felt like a fish out of water.  After coming back I figured I would be on the same dry land, but I have been bound and determined to work at it.  Part of this has been writing more and part has been reading the bible and Upper Room Devotions from 2011.  I had some old ones I never read.  There are references in the front so I read on ‘failure’ and ‘loss’. 

Psams 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord:

                                he inclined to me and heard my cry.

He drew me up from the desolate pit.

                                out of the miry bog.

and set my feet upon a rock,

                                making my steps secure.

He put a new song in my mouth

                                a song of praise to our God.

 

These were my thoughts in the morning in was like new light was shinning, ‘a new song in my mouth’.

The coconut juice, you put it to your lips and it has the perfectness of the purest water you have ever had in your life.  But it has richness to it; like if gold or diamonds were made into a drink, that richness is the coconut juice.

The coffee is hot and black.  The sweetest thing you could ever drink ,but not too say that you wouldn’t want it just perfect, and strong.  I add cinnamon to it and it is like a holiday evening in the winter with family.

The spaghetti is perfect this morning, small chunks of chicken, onion, an amazing flavor.  I think awe, I have some parmesan cheese!  I search for the cheese in the other house.  What do a find under the table cloth on the shelves; I see a piece of avocado.  Avocado!  No one told me there was avocado right now in the country.  I come back and tell Raphael who is eating breakfast with me about the avocado, I am practically giddy.  He doesn’t really believe me and asks where it is to go investigate.  He searched and then asked his mother.  – She had been saving this little piece for me and she had forgotten about it.  Oh I love avocado in Haiti; one of my absolute favorite things.

Thanks for the new song!

Updates - From July

      It is time to catch up on some blogging.  I have worked on some but have not posted for a time.  Life seems… I don’t even really know how to explain it.  I think I was in a dream, a haze.  About a month has passed now since I married Raphael.  Just saying that seems still very hard to believe.  We had been working on him coming to the U.S. for over a year and a half.  When it finally happened it felt unreal.  Having him here was surreal I would sometimes look at him and be amazed we were together.  And then the wedding… I think I can say I have finally had an out of body experience.  It was like um, here it was my wedding day (?)  I just really never really thought it was going to happen.  And now people say things like wife and husband and I think- is this my life? When did this happen?

 

I have been waiting and wondering what God has in store for us next… not getting a clear response and waiting.  I have been missing Haiti more than I would have imagined and yet life here seems pretty wonderful right now too.  Which way do we turn, now?  Which direction?  We have been working out at Storm Mountain Center (a United Methodist Church Camp nestled in the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota).  I have been cooking and Raphael doing maintenance work.  Before starting the jobs here, I had started settling into what will be our home for a year in Vermillion, SD starting in the middle of August.  I accepted a job with the 1^st UMC there working in Campus Ministry.  This is the work I was doing before I went to Haiti.  But I have been impatiently wondering, what does life hold after this year.  Where shall we go?  Are we in Haiti or are we in the U.S?  Patiently or really not so patiently waiting for answers.

            These are the thoughts that had been running through my head.  Then a week ago – bam! I slipped on some stairs.  One moment, one fleeting bleak of an eye and my fibula is fractured, torn ligaments, and surgery coming Monday.   How, What, Why? I have been frustrated, angry, pissed off, determined, depressed, and even grateful.  I said to a friend I was feeling some of these things and she suggested maybe this is God’s way of saying slow down, you aren’t superwomen.  It has had me thinking.  I am of the people that bad things just happen – God doesn’t cause them, will them, or support them.  But, this incident has humbled me even more.  It has made me realize how blessed we are.  How precious life is.  And maybe sometimes things do just happen.

 

I thought I had learned patience in Haiti.  I thought I had learned how to let others take care of me in Haiti.  But now I see maybe I just tolerated it. 

I do think I have a lot of patience, and I really did learn more in Haiti – but again being tested.  I always struggled with letting the family that cooked for me do that for me.  I have always been the helper, I am the one in the kitchen getting things ready, I always pinch in a helping hand and have to stay busy.  In Haiti it was a struggle this new role of having someone else bring me my coffee.

I arrived at Storm Mountain and I was in my element –cooking for others and taking care of others!  Yes, again good.

And now – I am stuck in a cabin.  I have to have someone drive me to meals (because of coarse it is my right foot).  I can’t even grab my own cup of coffee from the dispenser because I have crutches.  I find myself back to my dependence in Haiti.  What does this mean?  What is next?  Well I know one thing – it is a time to catch up on some much needed blogging.  So here we go.  I am going to first post some I had written in the past and not got around to finishing up and then we will start telling some stories that have been left out of the picture.  Hope you enjoy.

Getting back to Blogging - finally

First off I need to apologize for leaving this blog for too long with the blog title - "Frustrated" at top of the page - but that is how I as feeling and I guess for awhile.  Much has happened since then so I am going to try and catch up.

Just because it is beautiful and so are you!

I already did catch up some - I started writing again mid summer - but it had been so long since I had blogged I forgot my password.  And I was in an area with limited reception both internet and phone.  In order to retrieve my blog password I had to have it sent to my phone.  These kind of dynamics reminded me of being back at home in Haiti. 

But let me get to it.  I will post what I had written and what was started and finished last spring - summer and then we will get caught up. 
Thank You! for still being here.