I have had many transition over the last year. Many I am still coming to terms with at this time. But I am growing learning and adjusting much like this story I would like to share with you.
I woke up in
the morning in my first fall quarter at Southwestern College where I am studying Art Therapy / Counseling; with these
thoughts in my mind and heart. A little story, a poem, words for my own soul
that maybe you need to hear too. To all
who read this who feel as a caterpillar, or maybe you are having growing pains in the cocoon…remember you will fly when you are ready!
Transitioning Butterfly
I am a trapped caterpillar
alive and energized, but scared. Inside
the cocoon, the weather is shifting and there is tightness and changing happening. I pull and turn. I feel the presence of my
wings but have no idea how they are going to work.
I have
seen butterflies.
Do I
remember how they fly?
Do
they flutter, glide, or ride the wind?
Do they
choose where to go?
Do
they feel drawn by an energy source going here or there?
I do
remember their peace and beauty.
They flutter from here to
there like the world needs them to send a message of peace to all that might
gaze upon them. She has a secret; I know she does. Maybe she could teach me, but I fear she will
be gone by the time I struggle and break free for myself. No, I know this is something I must do on my
own. But for now, I will watch her
flutter and dance. I will start to move
my wings the way I think they need to move. I will gaze at the vibrant colors
and then close my eyes and try and pull those colors down into myself.
What
will my colors be - blue, yellow, shades of orange, accents of black? Or a psychedelic changing from green to blue to purple depending on how the
light is touching it.
In the cocoon my fears dance
like stars in my head - what if I am just a moth and not a butterfly at all!
“No
fear.” Now you know that is not true.
I can
feel the colors emerging so much I can smell them. I will continue to pull them
into me.
I am
still blossoming and developing – I can feel it in my soul.
I am aware of my wings as
I am still growing.
And then one day I will push
and twist and move like a strong dancer as my mighty wings emerge. And then, then I shall fly, and flutter, and
dance. I shall let the wind carry me, and I shall move toward the flower in
need.
I will dance with the other
butterflies but only for a bit,
I have so many places to go.
I will
visit the caterpillars along the way.
I shall kiss them on their back and
encourage them with a whisper.
“You are a beautiful butterfly too! You will start to feel it and sense it and
then be one! Transformations take time
sweet caterpillar, but remember you are a butterfly!”
