Struggles and JOYS!?

“Stuck on crutches, stuck in bed, feeling just stuck.  I have a new found appreciation for my legs.  Our bodies really are amazing devices we are given to do anything we imagine and we so take them for granted.  I always have at least.  Even something as simple as walking and carrying something in your arms is a struggle.” ~Angelica

 I wrote these words sometime in the middle of July I think.  I had broken my leg and was losing it.  It is amazing the psychological trials you go through when you experience something like that.  It wasn’t really my leg that was the main problem.  It was all the other symptoms.  Not being able to do things myself being the main one!  I am very independent.  I love to do things for others, I am the care giver.  So when roles were reversed I felt miserable and helpless; completely dependent on others.

 “My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.”  ~ James 1:2-4

                JOY!?! Not what I was feeling.  I was trying to embrace – I actually did know I was going through some sort of trial so I tried to learn from it…but let’s be honest – it still sucked!  But learning I did.  I think maybe it taught me to be a better care-giver.  It showed me that persons needing help may not want the help, but are left with no other choice.  It tears at your self- worth and leaves you feeling helpless.  After a while I found myself even giving up trying and completely relying on others.  I thought I just can’t do this anymore and I was slipping into depression. 

I started searching for things I could do!  I made beads, and I talked with the staff – I let them talk out their day if they were having struggles and became a sounding board.  I was accomplishing something and encouraged them and …I felt better.  I felt, I had worth again and I found myself being able to do more.

I think this is something to think about when we are ‘helping’ others.  It should be a partnership with what each of you can do in the situation.  Sometimes in order to ‘help’ others you have to walk with them and help them see themselves again.  Encourage them to endure the trial and walk with them through it and in the end you both will have JOY!