1145 mile move, to a new place?! This wasn't the plan.

          This past year we realized we needed to settle down somewhere.  We have Elijah now and kids are supposed to have stability, plus Raphael and I have been feeling we need some stability in our lives too.  It is hard always being in transition....even if in some ways we love it, or at least I do.   So we made plans, we thought we had the perfect job locked in and so our future in Haiti would just be on our vacation days.  However, I guess plans change...the job didn't work out and we felt lost.  We had not been pushing as hard to raise money for our return to Haiti.  We still did a few craft shows and talked with a few churches, knowing we would maybe just be going to Haiti for a month at best.   
         What would we do now, we didn't have the money saved up to go back to Haiti.  We were praying and searching and praying.  Then I received an email from the camping office about an Internship position for 9 months.  It involved doing all the things I already loved doing at camp plus learning more about what I don't know about camp.  Plus Raphael could work part time as maintenance, plus we could still take off for a month in the winter to go to Haiti!  

It was God sent, perfect!

         Perfect, but I was somewhat scared and wondered what we were getting ourselves into.  But then I remembered I moved to a different country, under similar circumstances, just trusting God and having faith that everything would work out as the universe planned.  Sometimes we make our own plans but God has something else better planned out for our lives.

Judson Collins Center is a United Methodist Camp nestled in the Irish Hills of Michigan.  It is down south in the palm of the mitten about an hour from Detriot.  It really is a beautiful area. It has been interesting learning at a new camp and also sharing our knowledge with the camp.  We can always grow and learn new things.  Raphael has been busy working part time maintenance, cutting trees and grass and all things that need to be done.  I have been working on marketing and cooking up a storm in the kitchen each weekend we have retreat groups.  We have also loved taking care of the barnyard animals.  Especially Elijah.

Sometimes God makes plans we didn't even know possible.  This sacred place has given us a place to relax and regroup and refocus.  We have been making plans to return to Haiti in September 2017 for a longer period of time.  Next summer we will do more fundraising so that we will be able to stay in Haiti for a year or more.  The time frame will depend on the funds raised.  We are looking for churches to come and share about Haiti and to sell the artists goods from Haiti.  Also craft fairs and other events we can bring the beautiful artwork of Haiti to share with more people.

Life is an adventure God leads us on.  Enjoy the journey you never know what will be around the next turn.  God likes to keep things interesting.  Some days we feel like we are on a roller coaster.  Ready for the next adventure, taking leaps of Faith with GOD.  
Thanks for being on the journey with us.

"Faint-heart, What got into you?"

Until opening by blog this morning, I didn't realize it had been so long since I had wrote a blog!  I am sorry for that.  I somehow lost my voice, writers block, busyness of life, having a 2 year old, starting a new job, I am sure there are more excuses.  But this past weekend we had a Fall Retreat for the youth in Michigan at Judson Collins Center (which I will write more about in the next blog.)  The retreat was titled Dream Big!  I did a talk on Trusting God.  Spending time with the youth talking about following their dreams, made me realize that I have not been doing all I can to follow my dreams.  I have been in a rut and dragging my feet.  

And so, I started reflecting on achieving the impossible. I shared the scripture with the youth about Jesus calling Peter out of the boat. 

"Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to  come to you on the water.” He said, “Come!” Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!” Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?” 

I was once bold about my dream, God's dream.  On good days I felt like I could walk on water or accomplish the impossible.  Lately I have been feeling less inspired, this weekend I heard God saying to me, in that gentle loving way ..."Faint-heart, What got into you?"  And between the retreat weekend and taking some of the Haitian Crafts to a Craft Sale with my encouraging Aunts and others; I heard Jesus again softly saying to me. "Come!"

Focusing, thinking and reflecting on Haiti made me think of one of my greatest accomplishments last year when we went to Haiti for those 5 months.  Two years ago the artist Nicole who makes the baskets with a group of ladies came to show me her beautiful work..  I am always overwhelmed when I see these gems.  I talked with her about coming to visit her house where all these ladies work.  I would love to meet everyone.  Her response, "Oh you can't get there.  It is too difficult to travel."  I felt dismayed and discouraged.  The next year I said I would do it, but her words echoed in my head.  "You can't." And so that was one of my biggest regrets of that year, not going!  Not getting out of the boat.  So last year. I was determined, no matter what that was my top priority! 

So Raphael, my husband and I set out on motorcycle up the mountain to see the ladies.  

This is the view we had from the top

And this is where we left the motorcycle as far as
we could travel by motorcycle time to walk.

You can see how rough the terrain is on the rocky path and the steepness of the mountain.  There were times I had to have Raphael walk ahead of me so I could hold on to him as not to fall.  It seemed impossible!  

At times I thought Nicole was right, I can't get there.  But other people lived here.  Nicole traveled this road every time she carried all those baskets.  And the views were incredible and encouraging.

A very old cystern for water.

Nicole's sister our guide down the mountain.

“No one gets very far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day.” – Elbert Hubbard

I almost fell a couple of times.  My knees and back were hurting.  I wondered if we would ever get there and what I had gotten myself into? ...and oh dear God I am going to have to climb back up this steep hill.  And then we rounded a corner and this was our view.

Oh my Goodness!  

Picture perfect - It was better than I could have dreamed!  Dream Big!

Dream Big that was our theme from this weekend.  God is calling you out of the boat.  The journey might be long, it might seem impossible, but you are being called, Come!  Don't wait 2 years like I did.  Take courage because with God walking down the steep mountain with you, you will get there and be surprised at what God and you can accomplish.

 

DREAM BIG ~ TRUST GOD!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Check the Chaos.

We have been traveling and I have not been good about sharing what is going on in our lives or even just sharing about Haiti.  I also have to admit I have not felt that inspired and also tired.  I have been recouping from some spiritual hurt in the past.  So concentrating on healing has left me lost at times and simply trying to find my balance. 

Last week Raphael and I were at the Luther Center sharing a Haitian meal with our old campus ministry friends.  And I had the opportunity to share the message.  This semester they have been asking the question, “Where do you find (experience) God?”  My most basic answer is ‘in Nature’.  I shared more detailed stories about where I feel most at home and with God is in the mountains in Haiti and the mountains of the Black Hills.  Last night a week after I shared, I decided I wanted to share a meal again at the Luther Center (even with our busy schedule, it seemed important).  After the meal and carving pumpkins I was tired and it was time to take Elijah ‘home’ to bed in Vermillion.  I wasn’t sure I was going to come back for worship.  But one of my friends, a graduated student said you need to experience some home – come back and worship with us.

Luckily I listened to her advice.  I returned and it was so meaningful.  Every service is started by saying something to the effect of leave the chaos of your life outside, check it at the door; this space is sacred and is meant to be spent at peace with God and yourself.  And with the music and the silent prayer, I find God again and again, each time I am there.  Last night it brought tears to my eyes and gave me a renewed energy and centering for our journey ahead. Luther Center last year was such a central part to my healing heart with organized religion and God. I am blessed to be a part of that community.  Everyone should have a place that they can find that sort of peace.  If you don’t have one keep searching.

                

This morning I read a blog by a friend, that has also been doing a bit of traveling about sacred places.  I encourage you to read it.  

http://thegreenmangoblog.com/2015/10/06/a-green-mango-pilgrimage-part-2-bahai-faith-temple/ 

Go wherever you need to, to find God.  God is waiting for you to reconnect.  God is always there sometimes our lives just get to crazy, to much chaos to hear that still small voice.  Check your chaos at the door and find some peace.  I know easier said than done.  Like I said the music helps.  Hope this helps you.  This is one of the songs we played last night. 

Peace.

"Love your neighbors as yourself." Mark 12:31

Today Astrel's Grandpa died and I knew it before the sun rose.  In Haiti you are very close to you neighbors, both physically and emotionally.  You are really more like an extended family and most the time they are indeed third, forth and fifth cousins.  Always just referred to as cousins in Haiti.  I have been trying for awhile to relate this kind of living to anything we have in the United States.  It came to me the other day.  It is like living in a large apartment building with no doors.  Like no outside door to your apartment.  Not that we don't have doors in Haiti but you don't have windows, that shut out any kind of noise.  So everything going on with your close neighbors you can hear.

This is how I knew about the death in the 'neighborhood' before I had even gotten out of bed.  In Haiti when someone dies they cry out.  Maybe wailing is what we would call it.  Its the third time now I have experienced it.  You are literally woken up to moaning and screams throughout the mountainside.  It is heart wrenching.  And then you wonder who is it?  In what direction is it coming from?  The family was immediately up and out checking on who it was.  Although they thought they knew already because Astrel's Grandpa was sick.  As I laid there in bed I just lifted up a prayer for the family for peace and condolences.  When you are with your neighbors like this, there is a bonding that happens that is unlike any other experience.

I thought I might compare it to a church family.  Which I am blessed to have an amazing one in Vermillion as well as the 'exteneded' family of the United Methodist Church in the Dakotas Conference.  But even that is something you only experience once a week or once a year.  Everyday I greet the neighborhood from my porch as they go to and from school and work.  Sometimes even before I brush my teeth or while I am outside in my front yard brushing my teeth.

Before I moved back to the states this was one of the things that drove me crazy.  I had to deal with the young men in the neighborhood dropping by for coffee before I even headed out to use the bathroom in the morning.  But now I don't know something has changed. (I have a backdoor now so I can at least use the bathroom without everyone knowing.)  But also, I love seeing the people and sharing their lives.  And just as I am writing this one of my neighbors a second cousin once removed stopped by.  They didn't make supper at his house tonight so we shared what we had leftover with him and his son.

Somehow it seems there is always enough to go around in the neighborhood.  Thank you Jesus for helping me understand the loafs and fishes a little better.  And there it is the leftover rice was just brought back into the house.  Mesi Jesi for teaching me to love my neighbors.

Clearing my head.

I went for a walk this morning.  My husband has been wound up a lot about life.  He now knows how difficult it is to live in 2 countries.  The baby was crying and I needed to a break.  I went for a walk to clear my head.  There was this beautiful view over the mountain just a short distance away.  I needed to just sit and clear my head.  I found a lovely rock on the side of the mountain.  I passed several people on the way there - folks heading to church.  We exchanged 'Bonjou' and both kept on our way.  I found a spot on the side of the mountain where is is rocky to sit.  I sat there looking down the valley and at the mountains wondering, 'what am I doing here?'  I needed to clear my head;  it has been a stressful time.  So alone on the rock I watched the world and talked to God.  The leaves below suddenly stirred up in a whirlwind.  The yellow leaves from the tree on the side of the hill danced in the sunlight.  And I kept talking to God and smiled a bit at the Creator's response.  

I heard something behind me and turned.  It was one of those moments you wish you had a camera.  Hand in hand walking there were 2 small children.  One a little girl about 8 years old carrying one of those large flat baskets on her head with bean shells in it and the other a little boy about 2 years old that was just wanting to hang out with his big sister.  He was along to help.  They greeted me and kept walking across the edge of the field.  They dumped their basket in the garden and on the way back the little boy had the basket (that was almost bigger that him) on his head upside down.  He clearly wanted to help out his big sister with the job at hand.  Again so wish I would have had the camera.

I continued to sit and clear my head, but shortly after the children had disappeared over the hill an old lady came and greeted me.  "Ou bezwen sole?" she asked me 'You need sun?'  ...Yes sure that sounded like a good reason to explain what I was doing here on the side of a mountain by myself.  I also tried to explain I just needed time by myself to think.  Which most people may take as a cue to keep walking, not the case in Haiti.  She kept talking to me about life and hwo she was and then she said, "Mwen genyen sole kay mwen." 'I have sun at my house!'  She really wanted me to come to her home.  We chatted a bit longer and then she said it again.  I was convinced I probably needed to go.  

Her house was just beside me on the hill.  And when I got to here house I discovered that the 2 young kids were her grandchildren as well as 1 more child there.  Their mother had died and she was caring for them.  We visited for a little bit and ten she brought me a letter in English that was addressed to her grand-daughter.  It was a sponsorship for her schooling from an international organization.  It was a lovely little letter and I was happy to translate it for her.  We visited about the sponsorship and I am not sure her granddaughter is actually sponsored or at least they have received no money for her.

They wanted to make some coffee for me.  But I really needed to get back to my house.  Ass I had now been gone for some time to clear my head.  As I walked back home, I thought my head is clear but I am not sure why.  The oldest boy from the house came running up behind barefooted and asking me for sandals.  I explained I didn't have any, this is pretty common thing for small children to ask for from foreigners.  

As I continued to walk home I just thought again about God.  What am I doing here?

I know this is a question many missionaries ask themselves from time to time. The experience is amazing, but there are many things that are rough from time to time about daily living.  So you find yourself asking the question.  I hope many people ask themselves that from time to time just to stay on track with what God wants from us in our lives.  It has now a few days later - I feel on track; despite still having a water shortage.  One of the artisans came by with some beautiful crafts and the rooster is crowing and all is well with the world.

Reality of life in Haiti - not a vegetarian read

There was a sweet little bunny in the corner of the kitchen the other day.  My first thought was just that ‘awe how cute! A fuzzy little rabbit just like in Elijah’s book I read him.  Then I realized oh….oh no.  I knew I needed to go get the camera to get a picture of this little guys last moments on earth.  

But I was busy myself cooking in the kitchen.  I had forgot about the little furry critter, until I could hear a buzz of people outside the house.  Then I knew it was too late to take a picture.  The neighborhood of friends had gotten wind that the rabbit would soon be ready. 

not the bunny one of the pigs

TiBo my brother-in-law is sort of known for ‘cooking up the meat’.  And when he does, he shares with whomever comes over.

In the kitchen -heads up!

One day I was busy looking around for something in the kitchen, not taking in my surroundings.  I stood up from where I had been searching and nearly smacked my head on a chunk of pig!  Since I have been in Haiti there have been 2 pigs and a rooster and the rabbit, he has cooked.  I am also pretty sure probably a cat – Raphael brought a bowl of meat into the house one night but that time he didn’t mention sharing it with me.  Of course it could have just been spicy too.  Which by the way is the case with most of the meat, I usually don’t eat any because it is too spicy! 

I did try the rabbit and it wasn’t too bad but all I could see was his cute little fuzzy face eating his last carrot in the corner of the kitchen and I couldn’t eat another bite.  You may be horrified or maybe you have lived on a farm and this is just the cycle of life.  I know for myself it is just the way it works here and life as we know it in Haiti.  But I gotta tell you when I catch wind of them cooking up the next piece of meat.  I try and stay clear of the kitchen or the crowd that is gathered around the excitement.  I wait inside; then I too can enjoy my share of the tasting when it is hot and cooked and on a plate. 

 I had to post this today.  Because I saw TiBo heading out into the field today with 2 big knifes in his hands.  I think we will be having some pork later today.

What am I going to “DO” when I am in Haiti?!

This is what I have been asking myself and asking myself, for the past year knowing we would be returning to Haiti again.  And others have asked me that.  I also need to know so that I can define why I am requesting money to help support myself and my family living there.  As Americans we always have to be busy doing stuff!  Many people work 8-5 and then fill their lives with so many things they are always busy!  Well nothing has come to me on what I should be ‘doing!’….well not exactly.

One of my favorite movies ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ talks about this (I have also read the book).In Italy they have a word for the art of doing nothing - “Il bel far niente”   In trying to figure how to express this I looked up some articles and blogs.  This is from ‘bemorewithless’ http://bemorewithless.com/how-to-cultivate-dolce-far-niente/

“We have to let go of the guilt for not planning, producing and consuming.  While this may be cultural, I think people around the world experience the pressure to measure the success of their day by what they’ve accomplished. If that is the case for you, it’s time for a new measuring system. Instead of number of appointments you’ve made, rooms you’ve cleaned, miles driven or shopping accomplished, try measuring your day by the number of times you smiled about nothing, watched the grass grow, or measure success by how long it took you to linger over dinner.”

The idea that keeps coming back to me is ‘being with the people’.  I have spoke on Haiti many times, sharing a variety of stories.  But the story and team that stick out the most was a few moms from the United States that wanted to come and just ‘be’ with the moms of Haiti.  The BIG thing they wanted to accomplish while coming to Haiti was to live the life of a mom in Haiti.  And so we did. We went to about 3 different family houses and just spent time with one other.  I am sure that sounds a bit strange to you.  Or you may be thinking is that All they did?  Well the Haitians thought the same thing.  “They just want to hang out with me and do laundry and dishes with me?”  But there was so much value in this.  1^st of all everyone were equals and these Haitian moms felt that what they do everyday is important and they were were given validation.  Also the American moms learned a tremendous amount from this experience that I am sure is with them still today.

           

So right now I am working through the idea that I won’t be ‘DOING’ some BIG thing.  But my plan is to be with the people and learn.  My plan is to be a mom and experience what it is like to have a baby in Haiti.  My plan is to explore my own artwork at my house and invite my Haitian artist friends to come create with me.  My plan is to learn more about the countryside and people and what it is to really ‘live’ in Haiti from day to day.  Trying very hard to not feel ‘guilty for not planning, producing and consuming….or accomplishing something.” And try and measure my day by the number of times not only I smile about something but how many times someone else smiles with me. 

            One of the goals (because lord knows we do in fact have to be doing something!), is to share these experiences with you, that we might all learn from these experiences.  I hope to invite you on this journey of exploration with me. 

The other day I was working through this in my head on how it all would work and struggling.  But I had the opportunity to share with the local United Methodist Women about the women and children in Haiti over coffee.  One of the ladies was in awe that I would do something like this.  Just give up things like a washing machine and just live with the people.  It was what I needed to hear!  To me it isn’t that big of deal, (it is but it isn’t) and if I can tell the story so others can experience another culture I am more than happy to do just that!  It makes me smile, it made those ladies smile and I hope this makes you smile!